My 25 Favorite Tweets From August

by John Hawkins | September 4, 2012 12:01 am

Mitt Romney attended the #RNC[1] & still made it to Louisiana three days before Obama. I guess Obama just doesn’t care about black people. #DNC[2]

— John Hawkins (@johnhawkinsrwn) September 1, 2012[3]

All across America, liberals are throwing things at the TV and screaming, “Stop putting minorities on the screen! Make it stop!” #GOP2012[4]

— John Hawkins (@johnhawkinsrwn) August 31, 2012[5]

Can anyone imagine Barack Obama raking leaves for the elderly or visiting sick people to cheer them up? Please… #GOP2012[4]

— John Hawkins (@johnhawkinsrwn) August 31, 2012[6]

Libs keep misunderstanding our coded dog whistles. We’re not being racist, we’re actually saying “Liberals can kiss our ass.”

— John Hawkins (@johnhawkinsrwn) August 30, 2012[7]

When you can’t run on your agenda because it’s poison you complain about everything else in hopes that people won’t notice how much you suck

— John Hawkins (@johnhawkinsrwn) August 25, 2012[8]

I’d like to see Juanita Broaddrick doing a press conference outside Bank of America stadium when Bill Clinton speaks at the DNC.

— John Hawkins (@johnhawkinsrwn) August 24, 2012[9]

Good news! If Sandra Fluke passes a hat around at the DNC and gets $5 from everyone, that should almost cover her birth control next year.

— John Hawkins (@johnhawkinsrwn) August 23, 2012[10]

There’s nothing that makes a liberal angrier than a female, minority, or gay conservative who says, “I don’t need liberals to help me.”

— John Hawkins (@johnhawkinsrwn) August 23, 2012[11]

Every taxpayer should have a right to ask a fundamental question: “Is what I’m getting in gov’t services worth what I’m paying in taxes?”

— John Hawkins (@johnhawkinsrwn) August 15, 2012[12]

So, is Mitt Romney going to put Americans in chains and then give them cancer or give them cancer & then put them in chains?#biden[13] #tcot[14]

— John Hawkins (@johnhawkinsrwn) August 14, 2012[15]

Barack Obama’s core argument: I can’t effectively govern because of Republicans. Re-elect me & I’ll fail to govern for another four years.

— John Hawkins (@johnhawkinsrwn) August 13, 2012[16]

If my dog actually got a hold of a real Squirrel, I wonder if he’d expect it to be full of white stuffing?

— John Hawkins (@johnhawkinsrwn) August 27, 2012[17]

President Composite Girlfriend tells us “you can’t just make stuff up.”

— jimgeraghty (@jimgeraghty) August 20, 2012[18]

Every time you see the higher prices for hamburger at the supermarket make sure to thank the idiots who got hysterical about “pink slime.”

— John Hawkins (@johnhawkinsrwn) August 8, 2012[19]

Know who must really be having a tough time with marketing right now? The drug dealers peddling bath salts. “It makes you eat people!”

— John Hawkins (@johnhawkinsrwn) August 7, 2012[20]

Life is always a choice between imperfect options.

— John Hawkins (@johnhawkinsrwn) August 30, 2012[21]

When it’s dog vs. stuffed animal in a battle to the death, to the victor goes the stuffing.

— John Hawkins (@johnhawkinsrwn) August 5, 2012[22]

Life’s not so much cruel as indifferent.

— John Hawkins (@johnhawkinsrwn) August 5, 2012[23]

Ideally, a man will make the right decision, sometimes he’ll make the wrong decision, but the worst thing he can do is make no decision.

— John Hawkins (@johnhawkinsrwn) August 4, 2012[24]

Peeing on bush in another dog’s yard is the canine equivalent of texting.

— John Hawkins (@johnhawkinsrwn) August 4, 2012[25]

That was quite the morning feel-up and I’m probably not going to get breakfast afterward. #TSA[26]

— April D Gregory(@aprildgregory) August 3, 2012[27]

I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without their motives being questioned. #bumpersticker[28]

— Conservanista (@KirkhamH) August 27, 2012[29]

heh.RT @libertarianview[30]: Hypocrite: A socialist with two kidneys

— Michelle Ray (@GaltsGirl) August 2, 2012[31]

We have more evidence that Bill Clinton raped a woman than that Mitt Romney paid no taxes for 10 years.

— Dan McLaughlin (@baseballcrank) August 7, 2012[32]

I’ll try to pick up the pieces and carry on. RT @ondrasmom[33]: @jedediahbila[34] I have to quit following you, your mouth is trash

— Jedediah Bila (@JedediahBila) August 30, 2012[35]

Endnotes:
  1. #RNC: https://twitter.com/search/?q=%23RNC
  2. #DNC: https://twitter.com/search/?q=%23DNC
  3. September 1, 2012: https://twitter.com/johnhawkinsrwn/status/241690397636706305
  4. #GOP2012: https://twitter.com/search/?q=%23GOP2012
  5. August 31, 2012: https://twitter.com/johnhawkinsrwn/status/241351595189739521
  6. August 31, 2012: https://twitter.com/johnhawkinsrwn/status/241333600086261760
  7. August 30, 2012: https://twitter.com/johnhawkinsrwn/status/240973968725659648
  8. August 25, 2012: https://twitter.com/johnhawkinsrwn/status/239433969324662784
  9. August 24, 2012: https://twitter.com/johnhawkinsrwn/status/239096085195419648
  10. August 23, 2012: https://twitter.com/johnhawkinsrwn/status/238480945416638465
  11. August 23, 2012: https://twitter.com/johnhawkinsrwn/status/238434257998053376
  12. August 15, 2012: https://twitter.com/johnhawkinsrwn/status/235743935014768641
  13. #biden: https://twitter.com/search/?q=%23biden
  14. #tcot: https://twitter.com/search/?q=%23tcot
  15. August 14, 2012: https://twitter.com/johnhawkinsrwn/status/235507117740666882
  16. August 13, 2012: https://twitter.com/johnhawkinsrwn/status/234999311996428289
  17. August 27, 2012: https://twitter.com/johnhawkinsrwn/status/240111625368125440
  18. August 20, 2012: https://twitter.com/jimgeraghty/status/237605708001067008
  19. August 8, 2012: https://twitter.com/johnhawkinsrwn/status/233306067059220482
  20. August 7, 2012: https://twitter.com/johnhawkinsrwn/status/232971347532328961
  21. August 30, 2012: https://twitter.com/johnhawkinsrwn/status/241290380916699138
  22. August 5, 2012: https://twitter.com/johnhawkinsrwn/status/232217700322123776
  23. August 5, 2012: https://twitter.com/johnhawkinsrwn/status/232209111834583041
  24. August 4, 2012: https://twitter.com/johnhawkinsrwn/status/231724486045614081
  25. August 4, 2012: https://twitter.com/johnhawkinsrwn/status/231567548733341696
  26. #TSA: https://twitter.com/search/?q=%23TSA
  27. August 3, 2012: https://twitter.com/aprildgregory/status/231338150369312769
  28. #bumpersticker: https://twitter.com/search/?q=%23bumpersticker
  29. August 27, 2012: https://twitter.com/KirkhamH/status/240138784845488129
  30. @libertarianview: https://twitter.com/libertarianview
  31. August 2, 2012: https://twitter.com/GaltsGirl/status/230894584903905281
  32. August 7, 2012: https://twitter.com/baseballcrank/status/232686883577151489
  33. @ondrasmom: https://twitter.com/ondrasmom
  34. @jedediahbila: https://twitter.com/jedediahbila
  35. August 30, 2012: https://twitter.com/JedediahBila/status/240979677295038464

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