My Fave Twenty 140 Character Thoughts For March

* We’d be a lot better off if most people in DC learned to love 3 little words, “Not our problem.”

* If both sides are criticizing you, it may mean you’re doing twice as much wrong, not splitting the difference to be right

* Just because there are bad guys on one side doesn’t mean the good guys are on the other side. It may be all bad guys.

* Just because it’s a “good idea” doesn’t mean the government should fund it. Even “good ideas” have to be paid for.

* Why am I getting an email telling me this? Seriously? | “1999: Christine O’Donnell *CONDEMNED* witchcraft in Halloween”

* People who say Palin is unelectable, but favor Romney, puzzle me. Barring a complete Obama collapse, Mitt can’t win.

* Know who really needs a union? The writers at the Huffington Post. Millions of dollars are changing hands & they get nada

* You are not a victim. I mean you, specifically, are not a victim, so stop thinking and acting like one.

* Piece of advice: It’s not worth your time to get angry at random losers on the Internet who say something you don’t like.

* Just watched Looney Tunes & wow, did people used to be much easier to entertain.

* So, when does Lancet come out with a study claiming we’ve already killed 300,000 people in Libya?

* There’s something about the “We crash parties for the shrimp” guys from Taco Bell that makes me want to hit them in the head with a pickaxe

* If people don’t like you, then maybe you should change how you’re behaving instead of looking for pity.

* When a nation becomes prosperous and fears no rival, it has a tendency to become jaded, complacent, and decadent.

* No matter how well you get to know some people, some of the things they do never make any d@mn sense.

* There are some people who will never forgive you for teaching them something or helping them out. Yes, really.

* If you want to live in a world without judgmentalism, it also means living in a world without morality or decency.

* I think Zombie movies are appealing because they’re an apocalypse we could imagine living through. Maybe even in style.

* Anything as cute and slow as sloths must taste like rotten potato mixed w/ fish bladders in order to not be extinct yet

* A friend told me she cried a lot. I asked her if there were women who don’t do that & if so, could she introduce us?

* When you’re in public, it’s your job as a parent to discipline your squawling brats to keep them from annoying people.

* Learning how to properly ignore dumb comments is an advanced communications skill.

* Despite what movies tell us, training & hard work beats heart & will 99 times out of a 100.

* I don’t feel guilty, I’m not sorry for you, & the world doesn’t owe you a living. Be responsible & get your life together

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