The Top 10 Coffee Party Rules

In case you haven't heard, the Coffee Party, which features a bunch of liberals pretending to be moderates as they whine about the Tea Parties are kicking off in ~~thousands~~, ~~hundreds~~, ehr...in a few coffee shops around America! Naturally, unlike the Tea Parties which are usually ignored at best and maligned at worst, these worthless hippie klatches are being given fawning coverage.

Given the size of the Coffee Party, it would be political smart to just ignore them. On the other hand, mocking them would be even more fun. So, courtesy of the folks on Twitter: Here are the rules for attending a Coffee Party:

Arguments ending "I mean, come on!" or "I know, right?" are encouraged -- johnhboyer

Mock "right wing sheep" before discussing how your Union wants you to vote. -- jd_nyc

We love and respect all except the narrow-minded hateful people who are too stupid to agree with us. ;) -- LisainDallas

If an attendee finds the coffee to be of low quality, make sure they know it was inherited from the Bush administration. -- CalebHowe

Close each meeting with a praye ... ha ha ha, just kidding. End by asking Earth for forgiveness. -- CalebHowe

Actively work to develop a chapter in all 57 states -- snarkandboobs

Only one sheet of toilet paper per potty visit. -- rimshot1000

Banning abortions will only drive them underground, but banning guns will make them disappear. -- tkellicut

The 1st rule of coffeeparty is that EVERYONE talks about coffeeparty. There's a MSM story for every 8 members we have -- johnhawkinsrwn

Give me liberty, or give me dea ... lol just kidding. Give me entitlements -- CalebHowe

Safari_Man

I've been wondering what tag line lent its name to this Coffee Party movement

I believe its roots are from Coffe Enema
Christopher_Taylor

I've been wondering what tag line lent its name to this Coffee Party movement.

Just look at the initials of the movement: CPUSA. Tells you all you need to know.
TheAncient

Got to say, John. this is fun.

I saw a video of a Coffee Party meeting deciding what their issues of the day were and then making signs together. Cumbaya. They all looked like they were on Prozac and this was a meeting with the Obama operative who started it. Very funny stuff. It will get a lot of coverage for a while, but I think this thing just dies over a few months. No. Wait. I forgot that Soros was funding the thing. So, it will be a far-lingering death.
jack

Didn't expect this one to make the cut--

"Banning abortions will only drive them underground, but banning guns will make them disappear. -- tkellicut"

Because, while that's pretty much an article of faith to much of the left, this--

"Banning guns will only drive them underground, but banning abortions will make them disappear. -- NOTtkellicut"

Is an article of faith to much of the pro-life right.

Whis is sad because this--

"Banning abortions and guns will only drive them underground"

--is the truth.

This also works for things like drugs and porn--as well as all kinds of things the Nanny State(sadly, not the sole province of the left) wants to ban, like salt, trans-fats, soda, free speech.
Ohbama

The number one Communists in Opposition toFreedom FromElectedElitists PARTY rule is:

WORSHIP ME!
Smithwick

I have a feeling the coffee party will be a source of endless amusement if the whole thing doesn't collapse on itself do to lack of interest/purpose.

But I think they will immediately go full retard for a number of reasons. 1) they're leftists, no explanation needed there. 2) they are given immediate legitimacy (it's already being described in the MSM as a more reasonable alternative to the tea party movement). Never being taken to task for anything you do tends to encourage inappropriate behavior. 3) much like current feminists and black civil rights leaders they have no legitimate issues to fight against so they will be forced to begin inventing them. And as the Reverend Al has shown us that can be mighty entertaining.
StanW

"We will now stand for the Pledge of Allegience to the... hehehehehehehehe I'll be here all week, try the veal!"

"Party Platform Plank - Replace the 1 and 2 dollar bills with a 3-Dollar Bill... and put Joe Biden's picture on it!"

"A Government Motors car in every garage and arugula in every salad bowl!"
Bill_Dalasio

The Tea Parties had their naming based, at least in part, on the title "Taxed Enough Already". I've been wondering what tag line lent its name to this Coffee Party movement. My suspicion is "Communist Obama Fans for Eliminating Enterprise".