The Top 10 Coffee Party Rules

15 Mar, 2010 by John Hawkins

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In case you haven’t heard, the Coffee Party, which features a bunch of liberals pretending to be moderates as they whine about the Tea Parties are kicking off in thousands, hundreds, ehr…in a few coffee shops around America! Naturally, unlike the Tea Parties which are usually ignored at best and maligned at worst, these worthless hippie klatches are being given fawning coverage.

Given the size of the Coffee Party, it would be political smart to just ignore them. On the other hand, mocking them would be even more fun. So, courtesy of the folks on Twitter: Here are the rules for attending a Coffee Party:

Arguments ending “I mean, come on!” or “I know, right?” are encouraged — johnhboyer

Mock “right wing sheep” before discussing how your Union wants you to vote. — jd_nyc

We love and respect all except the narrow-minded hateful people who are too stupid to agree with us. 😉 — LisainDallas

If an attendee finds the coffee to be of low quality, make sure they know it was inherited from the Bush administration. — CalebHowe

Close each meeting with a praye … ha ha ha, just kidding. End by asking Earth for forgiveness. — CalebHowe

Actively work to develop a chapter in all 57 states — snarkandboobs

Only one sheet of toilet paper per potty visit. — rimshot1000

Banning abortions will only drive them underground, but banning guns will make them disappear. — tkellicut

The 1st rule of coffeeparty is that EVERYONE talks about coffeeparty. There’s a MSM story for every 8 members we have — johnhawkinsrwn

Give me liberty, or give me dea … lol just kidding. Give me entitlements — CalebHowe