Liberal Snowflake Professor Proclaims Jingle Bells To Be A ‘Racist Song’

Liberal Snowflake Professor Proclaims Jingle Bells To Be A ‘Racist Song’

Everything you love is racist. Santa? Racist. Apple pie? Racist. Holiday songs? Nah those are safe.

Just kidding, they’re racist too!

At least, that’s according to theater history professor Kyna Hamill from Boston, who says that “Jingle Bells, has a “secret” racist past that has been “systematically” hidden from the public so it won’t make people feel uncomfortable to sing it for the holidays.

I’m going to need some more eggnog if I’m going to keep reading this mess.

“The history of the song has remained hidden behind its local and season affection,” Hamill said, adding that its “blackface and racist origins have been subtly and systematically removed from its history.”

Hamill claims the song was written 160 years ago by a man named James Pierpont and was intended to ridicule black people. The first performance of this song was done by a blackface minstrel hall in 1857.

She claims that her research into the song and its origins showed the it was created to “satirize” how black people behaved in unfamiliar situations be portraying them as “behaving foolishly, grotesquely, and incompetently” to activities such as sleigh riding.

Though she says the blackface mockery may have faded into the background, the song itself remains a holiday classic. Despite this, she is demanding that the city of Boston end its annual celebration of Peirpont writing the song in their city and “shun” the “racist” song forever.

Stop. Let people enjoy things. Knock it off. Nobody is thinking about “foolish, grotesque, and incompetent” black people when they sing jingle bells, they think of things like “gee, I wonder what it would be like to ride on a sleigh,” and “where would one even find a sleigh in 2017?” Nobody has had a problem with the song up until now and nobody sings it as a way to oppress black people. Even if that IS how it started out, that era is long gone and now it is sung by small children in school concerts and carolers who probably wouldn’t even know what “figgy pudding” is if you gave it to them.

Leave people alone, man. The world sucks enough as it is without people trying to bring up reasons to be upset at innocuous things. At this point, I’m beginning to think that these people are paid to find things and then invent reasons why said thing offends them. It’s got to be a contest of some type, right?

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