Bummer: Climate Change To End Practice Of Turkey For Thanksgiving

by William Teach | November 21, 2013 7:03 am

Why, yes, it is that time of the year when the Climatologists trot out their scary Thanksgiving stories. Prior to most major holidays, and some minor ones, Warmists tend to take one of three tracks: climate change will ruin the holiday, the holiday makes climate change worse, or they use the holiday to spread awareness. In this case

Thanksgiving In The Future: No Turkeys, Lots Of Pensioners, And Robot Cooks[1]

Welcome to Thanksgiving In The Future, a festive look at how we’ll be experiencing Turkey Day 50 years from now. We’ll have to rechristen it Chicken Day, because climate change will have wiped out[2] the planet’s turkeys by then. And instead of car jams and snow flurries, you’ll whiz through a ”hyperloop” tunnel and make it to the (unseasonably warm) celebrations in good time. Plus, you won’t need to Snapchat your friends shots of stuffing and cranberry sauce, because one wink will prompt your Google Glasses to broadcast a panoramic live feed out to everyone you’ve listed as “Close Friend.”

Welcome to the last Thursday in November of 2063.

Now, you’ve never seen a turkey, because all farm animals have pretty much gone extinct. But you’ve seen that episode of that vintage show Friends where Monica wears one on her head, and don’t get what all the nostalgia is about. Who would want to preserve an animal that looks like this?

The rest of the article is actually rather amusing, discussing the way the few young people left (because no one is having kids) will behave, writing on paper instead of tablets, playing virtual games instead of being outside, having virtual alcohol, and more. But Warmists just can’t help themselves with the doom scenarios from Hotcoldwetdry. Oh, here’s a few going with the third track[3]

In the days leading up to Thanksgiving, the Center for Biological Diversity’s Frostpaw the Polar Bear will hold a week-long vigil outside the White House to urge President Obama to “pardon the polar bear” by saving it from climate change and the Keystone XL pipeline. The event starts Thursday, Nov. 21 at 11 a.m. Visitors are invited to join Frostpaw and have their picture taken.

Crossed at Pirate’s Cove[4]. Follow me on Twitter @WilliamTeach[5].