Which Climate Change Costume Are You Wearing This Halloween?

31 Oct, 2016 by William Teach

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You probably thought that the Cult of Climastrology had forgotten to drag Halloween into their silly beliefs. Of course not. And you can totally take Halloween to the next level

Take Halloween to the next level with these 5 statement costumes

Eco-themed Halloween costumes are definitely in. After all, it’s a night devoted to terror and excess. But how do you stand out in a sea of BP oil spills and sexy Ken Bones?

This year, don’t just dress like an environmental catastrophe. Act like one, too. Science has spit out some nasty (and terrifying) stats about our changing world lately. We have a few suggestions for ways you can be equally obnoxious this year. Just remember — it’s for the planet.

So, we get things like

Costume: Farty scape-cow

Fact: Methane emissions are 60 to 110 percent higher than we thought. Double, double, toil and trouble. Fires burn, and the cauldron is certainly bubbling. We’ve been underestimating methane emissions from oil, coal, and natural gas exploration by 20 to 60 percent, says a new study in Nature. Creepy.

Act it out: Cattle take a lot of the blame for methane emissions, but fossil fuels are big emitters, too. Explain this to partygoers while wearing your best cow suit and spritzing gag fart spray.

Sounds like you’ll be the life of the party. Bet you’ll have a lot of invites to next year’s party.

You can also go as

Wildfire
Average June
New York underwater (this is a group project)
Pissed off wilderness

Doesn’t this sound fun?

Halloween is all about getting scared, and pissing people off, for educational reasons. So rock that jerky costume. Wear it with pride. And tomorrow, crowdfund against pollution — or plant a native, organic, and water-wise garden — or support family planning and sexual education in your community. Yes these stats are spooky-sad, but get into it, have fun, definitely don’t light yourself on fire, and remember there’s still plenty we can do.

I never knew that Halloween is about pissing people off for education reasons. As for plenty you can do, of course this doesn’t require you to actually go carbon neutral in your own life. You can still drive a fossil fueled vehicle to the Halloween party where you’ll annoy everyone.

Crossed at Pirate’s Cove. Follow me on Twitter @WilliamTeach.