Pre-Thanksgiving Rite: Warmists Bring Scary Stories About Doom

Before virtually every holiday the believers in “climate change” trot out all sorts of scary stories about how mankind’s release of greenhouse gases will ruin the holiday in the future. This year’s w(h)inner is Mother Jones

This Is Your Thanksgiving on Climate Change

Thanksgiving is supposed to be all about bounty, right? Cornucopias? Tables groaning with goodies?

Sure–for now. But (holiday buzzkill alert!) if the globe continues to warm, that Turkey Day spread could end up looking quite paltry. In honor of everyone’s favorite day of feasting, here’s a preview:

Ah, the old “sometime in the future bad things might possibly maybe kinda sorta happen” canard.

The “turkey belt” of the United States is in the South, where states like Virginia, North Carolina, and Arkansas contribute the bulk of our national annual haul of over a quarter of a billion birds. But if you’re worried about keeping turkey on your Thanksgiving table into the future, you might turn your attention to the Midwest. After this summer’s record-breaking heat and drought in the Corn Belt, the grain supplies that plump the birds up for market dwindled, prices spiked, and as of fall turkeys are the most expensive per pound they’ve been in 10 years.

Except there have been record corn crops across the United States and the world this year (and previous years). And drought is no worse than it was 60 years ago when CO2 was under 350ppm. For those who’ve been to the supermarket to buy a turkey know that you can get one pretty cheap. Heck, I was in WalMart yesterday (bought my bird at Kroger, though) and saw prices as low as 88 cents a pound. One of the main drivers of rising feed costs is using it as fuel. Mostly worthless fuel.

No halfway decent Thanksgiving plate is complete without a dollop of mashed potatoes and gravy. Unfortunately, rising temperatures are endangering the future of that creamy dish. Elevated spring temperatures in Idaho could produce an 18 percent drop in spud yields and an annual $141 million economic loss to the state, according to the American Security Project. Additionally, volatile rainfall will also create irrigation problems.

Except, we’ve seen record crops this year, as well. But, it could happen!!!!1!!! It hasn’t yet, and virtually every Warmist prediction has failed, and, why do you keep asking such inconvenient questions and using the Internet to look up information? Just fall in line, pal!

Also mentioned are cranberries (yuck), spinach (yuck), corn (remember, record yields), and pumpkins (no research done, but “studies suggest something or other mumble in the mumble future). Bad things could maybe happen. Hey, remember back to the Little Ice Age when it was cold and crops were really failing and tens of millions were starving?

Warmists are some seriously depressing people, don’t you think? They refuses to modify their own lives to Do Something about their beliefs: they prefer to just whine.

Crossed at Pirate’s Cove. Follow me on Twitter @WilliamTeach.

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