Love Is A Losing Game When She Pursues


by Anna Maria Hoffman and Gabriella Hoffman

It’s undeniable that today’s dating culture is a mess. In fact, dating norms have been perverted.

What best explains this? Thanks to the rise of third-wave feminism, which advocates the blurring of biological differences of both sexes, our culture has largely influenced young women to take this kind of aggressive lead. Moreover, this confounding trend has been perpetuated by the decline of the natural family unit and the rise of poor parenting habits.

This trend was most notably brought to light in a July 2013 New York Times article titled, “Sex on Campus-She Can Play That Game, Too.” In this article, young women in college share their testimonies of how a hookup is more appealing than a relationship and how they feel “empowered” when they initiate hookups. There is also a discussion of:  how some young women liken hookups to economics, explaining the “cost-benefit analysis” of hooking up, which, they assume, provides more benefits than costs compared to relationships. It’s rather disturbing. Clearly, this sets our gender back by reducing women to mere sex objects.

Although this article only highlights the trend of women pursuing guys for a hookup, we must also acknowledge the increasing trend of young women asking men out on dates and initiating relationships with men. This is quite problematic. Not only does this trend belittle men and their ability to initiate relationships, but also puts women in a position they are not naturally programed to be in. Essentially, this trend facilitates the reversal of gender roles and has deleterious consequences on men and women in America.

Ladies, men initiating dates and relationships is not patriarchal. It’s a beautiful thing–a gesture we should highly value and praise. Their role in initiating a relationship does not diminish us or stop “female progress.” It simply reflects the natural gender differences that exist between men and women. Men are naturally initiators and leaders, and we, as women, complement men with our own qualities. Obviously, a relationship can only work when both parties are working towards making it last. However, women taking the lead in initiating dating and fostering subsequent relationships does not work towards that goal.

Liberals love to talk about diversity, but fail to highlight the beauty that arises from gender differences. Men and women are different, of course, and both play different, but complementary, roles in a relationship. This is not the result of “cultural restraints,” nor is it “a taste of patriarchy” that our gender has been spoon-fed by “oppressive American tradition.” It is the beauty that comes with the diversity that exists between men and women.

Ladies, let men pursue you. Be mysterious, but not unapproachable. Don’t chase after men; let them chase after you! (Fact: nobody likes a female predator.) Love isn’t supposed to be easy. It’s supposed to be challenging, exciting, and wonderful. Let a guy take the lead so he’s empowered to be the man he’s destined to be.

This blog post was originally published on: Counter Cultured’s “Lady’s Column.”


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