Obama’s Sequester Two-Step

03 Mar, 2013 by Rick Jensen

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Watching from the cheap seats, Obama’s “Sequester Two-Step” is quite entertaining. While not nearly as graceful as Charles Durning’s classic political footplay in “Best Little Whorehouse in Texas,” only fellow Democrat Bob Menendez puts in a better performance of the beleaguered innocent these days.

In the opening scene, Barack swaggers from the golf course past his adoring Washington press corps, all brokenhearted from his callous forgetfulness, leaving them alone at home desperately awaiting his phone call to allow them to photograph and document their beloved’s jaunt with Tiger Woods. Dutifully, they whiningly cover his hard work to reduce the country’s financial bloat; specifically, surrounding himself with first responders he wouldn’t mind seeing laid off while blaming Republicans for acquiescing to the sequester designed by his staff.

As the Washington Post’s Bob Woodward reported in his book, “The Price of Politics” as well as in a recent column, the sequester was designed by President Obama’s White House staff. It was “the brainchild of Jack Lew and White House congressional relations chief Rob Nabors…” Obama approved. They believed Republicans would never let it actually happen because of the cuts to the military. His failed evaluation of the Republican Party is exceeded only by his failed evaluations of Russia, Egypt, Libya, and Iran.

Today, many conservatives have no problem cutting Pentagon waste. So, the President squirms in front of the cameras, fuming about planes dropping from the skies, poisonous meats in mom’s grocery cart and society failing because the government will have to function on merely 97.7 percent of its current spending.

What’s a petulant president to do when his trickery fails?

Cameras! Action! Release the prisoners!

Homeland “Security” Director Janet Napolitano held open the gates for jailed criminal illegal immigrants and wailed as they spilled into the streets, “Look, we’re doing our very best to minimize the impacts of sequester, but there’s only so much I can do. I’m supposed to have 34,000 detention beds for immigration. How do I pay for those?”

This is a first-class temper tantrum!

“See what you made me do? Obey me or this puppy gets it!”

What additional theatrics will Obama perform to keep the attention of the media on his marketing campaign and away from empty rooms in D.C. where he should be working with Congress to fix our spending problems?

I’m expecting a TV commercial paid for by the Democratic Party featuring a cameo appearance from Maxwell the Pig gleefully squealing, “Wheeeeeeeeeeee!” while skateboarding and pinwheeling past sullen, doe-eyed federal employees in bread lines.

Republicans and Democrats should ignore both Obama and Boehner and let the departmental shortages be handled by competent managers (yes, there many in Government). As George Will succinctly wrote, “… the sequester will cut 47 percent as much as was spent on the AIG bailout.”

Surely competent government managers can shuffle this much around, unless President Obama compels them to fail at their jobs as Napolitano did for obvious political points. After all, this is an alleged security professional whose expertise is demonstrated by installing millions of dollars of flat screen monitors in Walmart stores asking shoppers to report to store managers any terrorist activity they see in Walmart. Yes, Al Qaeda in Walmart.

President Obama sees Al Qaeda in Walmart and domestic doom and disaster in a 2.3 percent reduction in federal government spending.

The final scene in this multimedia comedy of errors could be taken from Monty Python’s “The Meaning of Life,” where restaurant patron “Mr. Creosote,” nearly as overweight as our bloated federal credit card, is offered an after-dinner mint that is “Wafer Thin.” He explodes in a splattering mess equivalent to the economy of Greece.

Mr. Creosote would be renamed, “U.S. Budget.”