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What Does Adultery Tell Us About Character?
Written By : Dennis Prager

With Herman Cain’s announcement that he was suspending his presidential campaign because of the charges of sexual harassment and of a 13-year affair, issues are raised that the country would do well to think through. The two most obvious are whether we should care about a politician’s sexual life and how much the press should report about these matters.

But there is a larger issue that needs to be addressed first: What does adultery tell us about a person? For many Americans, the answer is: “Pretty much all we need to know.” This certainly seems to be the case with regard to presidential candidates. The view is expressed this way: “If he can’t keep his vows to his wife, how can we trust him to keep his vows to his country?”

I am a religious conservative, but I know this statement has no basis in fact. It sounds persuasive, but it is a non sequitur. We have no reason to believe that men who have committed adultery are less likely to be great leaders or that men who have always been faithful are more likely to be great leaders. To religious readers, I point to God Himself, who apparently thought that King David deserved to remain king — and even have the Messiah descend from him — despite a particularly ugly form of adultery (sending Bathsheba’s husband into battle where he would assuredly be killed).

And while on the subject of leadership, another question for religious and/or conservative readers who believe that a man who sexually betrays his wife will likely betray his country: Who would you prefer for president? A pro-life conservative who had had an affair, or a pro-choice man of the left who had always been faithful to his wife?

Jimmy Carter, to the best of our knowledge, has been faithful to his wife throughout their long marriage. That is certainly commendable. Did it make him in any way a better president? Has it given moral acuity to the man who wrote a book equating democratic Israel with apartheid South Africa?

And the American who, perhaps singlehandedly, may have prevented inter-racial war in America, Martin Luther King Jr., committed adultery on a number of occasions.

Would John F. Kennedy, a serial adulterer while in the White House, have been any different a president were he faithful?

Just knowing that a man or a woman had extramarital sex may tell us nothing about the person. I have always wanted to know: Why is sexual sin in general and adultery in particular the one sin that many religious people regard as defining a person as well as almost unforgiveable?

Nothing here is in any way meant to be a defense of adultery. As a religious Jew, I believe it violates one of the Ten Commandments. As a married person, I know how much it would hurt my wife and how much it would hurt me if the other had an affair. But marriage is too complex an arena to draw any immediate conclusions about a person. Are we to label a man who takes loving care of his chronically ill wife and who has a discreet affair no more than an adulterer who merits disdain and mistrust? Is a woman who stays in an emotionally abusive marriage for the sake of her children someone with little integrity because she sought to be held in another man’s loving arms? The questions and nuances are innumerable.

And what is adultery? Women have called my show to tell me that a man who gets a lap dance has committed adultery. Others go further — merely attending a strip show, or looking at Playboy, is adultery. To my mind, this is emotion — not reason, morality or religion — talking. Yes, many Christians cite Jesus as saying that a man who lusts after a woman other than his wife has committed adultery with his heart. But he made it clear that this is adultery with his heart. Jesus, the practicing and knowledgeable Jewish rabbi, would never equate actual adultery with adultery with one’s heart. And if someone believes the two are morally identical, why not start asking candidates if they have ever lusted for any woman other than their wife?

In choosing a president of the United States, adultery would greatly matter to me is if it were engaged in indiscreetly. I don’t trust the integrity or conscience of a man or woman who publicly humiliates his or her spouse.

Beyond that, I do not want to know anything about the sexual life of any candidate. Media reporting or questioning about candidates’ sexual lives constitutes a form of hypocrisy so deep that the English language does not have a word for it. Media people report on the sexual lives of candidates — for virtually any public office — on the grounds that since these politicians have great power, the public needs to know all about them. Yet, they offer no insight into their own sexual lives, even though some in the news media are far more powerful than almost any politician except the president of the United States. If we cannot trust a candidate who committed adultery, then why can we trust a news reporter or editor who has committed adultery?

The only thing this preoccupation with candidates’ sexual lives has achieved is to ensure that some of the best, brightest, finest and most honest men in America never run for office.

Dennis Prager hosts a nationally syndicated radio talk show and is a visiting fellow at the Hoover Institution at Stanford University. He is the author of four books, most recently “Happiness Is a Serious Problem” (HarperCollins). His website is DennisPrager.com.

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  • Anonymous

    And out come the apologists for Newt’s corruption and philandering.

    “So what if he’s twice divorced and a serial adulterer? So what if he has a laundry list of ethics violations? He’s electable!”

    If the GOP wants to hasten the split between the Establishment and the conservative base, this is a great way to do it. And the notion that Newt is some indispensably capable genius is laughable. Looks like the Establishment has quickly fallen into the Obama trap.

  • Jorge

    If a woman does it, it is because the husband hasn’t been fulfilling her needs. If a man does it, he is a low life scum-bag and deserves to lose everything. Either way, it is the man’s fault.

  • J in Japan

    I reserve the right to not vote for a practicing slimeball.
    Cain, at least until recently, was still in that group.

    Newt’s infidelities, on the other hand, are in the past, and he’s married and apparently faithful now, after having converted to Catholicism.
    I’d hold my nose and vote for him if I had to.
    But I’d like to have a candidate who is a pretty good guy. I’m not asking for perfection.
    Just no weasels.

    • Anonymous

      I reserve the right to not vote for a practicing slimeball.
      Cain, at least until recently, was still in that group.

      Precisely zero of the accusations against Cain have been proven.

      • Anonymous

        Right, which is why it makes perfect sense for Hawkins to throw him under the bus while excitedly endorsing a guy whose sexual escapades are well documented.

  • Anonymous

    Actually the one and only question it raises is this: Why do we allow the MSM to continue to propagate lies about conservative candidates, and then roll over instead of challenging them?

    • aegean1

      Why are we allowing them to choose our candidate? Did we not learn our lesson last go round?

    • Anonymous

      “We” did. Cain didn’t stand a chance because the GOP Establishment wanted him gone as much as the Democrats did.

      Palin is the only person who has been able to assert herself against the Establishment and MSM, but you know, everyone was tired of her.

      • Anonymous

        Many of his non-Establishment supporters deserve blame as well, though. I’ve read numerous posts on various conservative sites where Cain has been thrown under the bus by people not in any way affiliated with the Republican Establishment.

        And let’s be honest with ourselves, the Establishment only exists because the Republican voter base allows it to exist. As long as we keep electing and re-electing Establishment Republicans we’ll always have this problem.

        It’s a lot like the problem with corrupt Congressmen. Almost every American agrees that all of Congress regardless of party is horribly corrupt and they would like nothing better than to see them all voted out…except for their Congressman. He’s okay in their book.

  • Anonymous

    I’ve learned that committing adultery or sexual harrasment makes a candidate entirely unsuited to office . . . if he has an R after his name.

    For democrats it’s par for the course and NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!

    • Anonymous

      To be more accurate, the accusation of adultery or sexual harassment makes a candidate entirely unsuited for public office (despite the complete absence of proof), but only if he has an R after his name.

      If he has a D after his name, even if they have DNA proof and a direct confession from the adulterer, it’s a private matter that should only concern the family of the adulterer/harasser and in no way impinges on his suitability to hold public office.

      • http://www.vega.com Vega – NY Liberal Honey Badger

        Republicans are the ones who abandoned Cain. Not the Dems.

        • Anonymous

          You must be reading someone else’s posts since at no point did I ever claim the Democrats “abandoned” Cain.

          • http://www.vega.com Vega – NY Liberal Honey Badger

            You are attempting to blame Cain’s end on some vast left-wing conspiracy (like anything else that goes wrong with your candidates).

            When it really comes down to this –

            If the conservative base wanted Cain to stay in, he would still be in.

            They are the ones who left Cain, and why he had to leave office.

            Not the media. Not the Dems. Not Liberals.

            CONSERVATIVES.

          • Anonymous

            You are attempting to blame Cain’s end on some vast left-wing conspiracy (like anything else that goes wrong with your candidates).

            Of course I’m blaming it on the left. You fucktards were the ones who tried to smear him with baseless accusations of sexual harassment and adultery.

            But YOU said that the Dems didn’t “abandon” Cain. This bears absolutely no relation to anything I said. I never claimed the Dems “abandoned” Cain. I said they smeared him with false accusations of sexual misconduct.

          • http://www.vega.com Vega – NY Liberal Honey Badger

            You would have to prove that Democrats did that, samurai.

            I have more reason to believe his REPUBLICAN rivals did it than the Democrats.

            And, Cain handled it like a novice.

            And then, Republicans abandoned him.

            Republicans have no one to blame but themselves. Take some personal responsibility.

          • Anonymous

            “You would have to prove that Democrats did that, samurai.”

            Did what, smeared Cain with baseless accusations? That’s already been proven. And even if it wasn’t, it’s not my job to prove you false. It’s your job to prove your accusations correct. And the fact remains that the left has consistently failed to prove any of their accusations against Cain.

        • Anonymous

          It’s not about abandoning them, it’s about them having to survive an unrelenting assault of accusations until they are rendered ineffective due to having to defend themselves constantly.

          If every time Obama got up to give a speech twenty or so people showed up and shined a laser pointer in his eyes or just started screaming nonsense to drown him out he would have a hard time having any sort of policy discussion.  Eventually he’d be down to squinting, hiding, or otherwise yelling to get his point heard so that all his time is occupied defending himself.

          Then we could turn around and point out that he is a horrible leader because all he does is focus on minor annoyances and refuses to address any real points.

          Difference of course is that A) those are real problems B) the media would crucify anyone who dared and C) even his opponents would say that is childish and unfair.

          Believe me, you don’t want to be held to the same standards conservatives are.  It’d be like tossing a spoiled house cat in to the lion cage.  

          • http://www.vega.com Vega – NY Liberal Honey Badger

            Bah. Conservatives are the ones who sold out Cain.

          • Anonymous

            Yes I’m sure conservatives paid these women to go public and conservatives made this the top story for the last month.

            It’s all a vast righwing conspiracy/suicide pact. 

          • http://www.vega.com Vega – NY Liberal Honey Badger

            Possibly. Cain did have rivals. He himself accused Perry’s camp of doing this.

            Also, the media and/or liberals don’t vote in the primaries. Republicans do.

            If Cain’s donor money dried up, it’s conservatives who dropped him.

        • http://www.wordaroundthenet.com Christopher Taylor

          Well clearly Democrats can’t abandon someone they opposed.  That’s irrelevant to the point at hand.

          • http://www.vega.com Vega – NY Liberal Honey Badger

            The point is, Cain is out because of his own actions and the actions of his supporters.

  • http://www.vega.com Vega – NY Liberal Honey Badger

    Adultery doesn’t say anything about your character, the circumstances under which you committ adultery does.

    There is also a difference between personal character and public character.

    It is absurd to disqualify someone from your vote just because they committed adultery. Would you ask someone who works for you that question?

    • TheBaud

      This could be the stupidest thing I have ever heard. How brain-dead do you have to be to think that adultry doesn’t say anything about your character.

      News flash for you D-Vega, adultry says EVERYTHING about your character, or lack of character! No matter who it is!!!

      • http://www.vega.com Vega – NY Liberal Honey Badger

        How you doing, Baud?

        • TheBaud

          I’m fine. But I see you haven’t gotten any smarter.

          • http://www.vega.com Vega – NY Liberal Honey Badger

            There is a difference though, Baud.

            I have never cheated on my wife, first of all.

            Secondly, different people have different situations. Someone may be in a marraige that has failed.

            If you are in the relationship with someone, then of course you would question that person’s character.

            But in terms of a job (being a politician is a job) it’s none of no ones’ business and no one should care.

            When you apply for a job, there’s no question that asks if you’ve ever cheated, nor would you be fired if an employer found out you were cheating (unless you worked for a religious institution or the military.)

            The same should go for politicians. They are NOT some virtuous role model for Americans everywhere. They are NOT running for sainthood or to be Mr. Perfect.

            It’s a job. And our concern should be first electing people who can do the job effectively. Not looking in their closet for indiscretions. Unless that indiscretion is illegal.

          • TheBaud

            Again, that is complete CRAP!

            Anyone that would cheat on their spouse will also cheat in their career. You know this already, because you are trying to say one cheat is worse than another. It does not matter the conditions where the cheating occurred, just that it did occur.

            Gingrich and Clinton are both cads becase they cheated. One cheated on his dying wife and the other cheated with a girl his own daughters age. But they both cheated, therefore they both showed a lack of character. The circumstances were meaningless.

    • http://www.cavalierx.com CavalierX

      “It is absurd to disqualify someone from your vote just because they committed adultery”

      An adulterer is a dishonorable person who combines the traits of liar and thief, on top of being an oathbreaker. I, personally, find it hard to trust such a person. And before you ask: yes, I once actually severed a friendship with someone when I found that he had been cheating on his wife.

      • http://www.vega.com Vega – NY Liberal Honey Badger

         Would you refuse to hire someone because of it?

        Family and friendships, like adultery, are personal.

        • http://www.cavalierx.com CavalierX

          “Would you refuse to hire someone because of it?”

          How would I know about it? Is the guy wearing a button that says “Yes! I cheated on my wife!” One can’t ask questions like “have you ever cheated on your wife” in a job interview for precisely that reason.

          • http://www.vega.com Vega – NY Liberal Honey Badger

            Exactly. Because you aren’t supposed to know about it. The same should be applied to politicians.

            Now drug use or felonies? That is something you should know, need to do and is perfetly appropriate to ask about.
             

          • TheBaud

            But once you do know about it, how could you possible trust the person? If anyone would throw away their relationship with a spouse so easily, what would they do to you?

            I had a boss several years ago the was cheating on his wife and bragged about it at work. He basically told everyone that he held nothing sacred and would stab anyone in the back if given the opportunity. He even proved that a few times.

            D-Vega, if you truly believe that committing adutry says nothing about a persons character, then you are a very disturbed person.

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