IMO: These rules don’t apply as widely as the author apparently hopes they do. She’s “giving advice” to men so they conform to the actions that she desires, rather than reporting the consensus. Aside from perhaps one or two points, there really isn’t anything here of value.

We love your body. If we’re in love with you, we love your body. Your potbelly, everything. [I don't know about this, actually.]

Well, this just isn’t so. Maybe she’s trying to get guys past some insecurities (which sounds admirable), but in reality, the balance between the level of affection and the level of physical disgust is never swung completely away from physical attributes. If there is an unattractive quality, then it is just that. If the quality is a product of a lifestyle (hello beer gut), then it is worse.

We remember forever what you say about the bodies of other women. When you mention in passing that a certain woman is attractive — your comment goes into a steel box and it stays there forever. [Advice: Shut up.]

Maybe your jealousy is a bit out of control. Perhaps that is the real issue–especially if such an opinion is solicited.

We also remember everything you say about our bodies, be it good or bad. Doesn’t matter if it’s a compliment. [Advice: Say only good stuff.]

She says “remember” as if it is a threat. You know, like she’s going to remember it so later she can use it. Well, maybe she should foster an environment of honesty, sincerity, and trust and stop worrying about every comment a guy makes. The underlying issue is that she’s admitting in some way that a woman’s body image is partly determined (and for some women, greatly determined) by the words that a man speaks.

We want you to order Scotch. It’s the most impressive drink order. [Hmmm....this must relate to what she likes, because really, do most women care? I don't think so.]

This is totally irrelevant. What if the guy doesn’t drink?

Stand up, open a door, offer a jacket. We talk about it with our friends after you do it. [True.]

I can’t keep track anymore. Is chivalry in, or out? If the guy is raised to respect and honor the woman he’s with, most of this will be a non-issue. But this is far from a uniform opinion among females. It would be like saying, “all women like pink.” Ridiculous.

Also, no tank tops. In public at least. A tank top is underwear.

Irrelevant. This depends on the location and the activity that is “public.”

Panties is a wonderful word. When did you stop saying “panties”? It’s sexy. Say it more. [Okay, someone made this up. A guy, I think.]

Wow. Whatever. Irrelevant once again.
I personally find it quite funny that she writes:

The men who constantly stare at our breasts are never the men we’re attracted to.

…and then the picture that you linked to has her in a low-v cut blouse with her breasts pushed upwards. Maybe she needs to hear, “don’t let your insecurities send mixed signals to men and then complain that the men you attract aren’t what you were hoping to find.” If you don’t care enough to cover a body part up, then why are you upset that someone else looks at it? When did common sense become uncommon?

Does that mean that there aren’t perverts out there who’ll use you if you let them? No. But, seriously, the irony here is too much.

There are better words than beautiful. Radiant, enchanting, smoldering, intoxicating, charming, fetching. [All of these words are nice, though.]

“Better” words than beautiful? Seriously.

Dr. Clouthier, overall I would say that this type of “advice” is limited to someone who is specifically trying to date Christina Hendricks, whoever she is. Aside from the statement about women being attracted to smell, there may not be anything in this column that can be generalized to any group or person outside of, well, her.

My question is, of all the things that are going on right now, why post on this?

Many women that I’ve met go ballistic if they sense that you’re treating them or reacting to them with some formulaic response. They feel slighted that you’re not attending to them as a person. And yet women are the biggest developers and promulgators of said lists, often demanding that their men read them too.

How about 1 simple rule (and it’s good for all human relationships, not just love relationships):

I treat you decently, and you do the same in return.

Yes, I know it’s a restatement of the “Golden Rule”. So what?

Maybe she participated in Boobquake. :D

Posted by ohioan
2010-04-27 16:10:37

I have to agree. Her advice kinda rings true, but it really doesn’t seem applicable to all women everywhere, which would seem to be the point of lists like this.

Posted by Lizard 2010-04-27 16:12:05

Firefly is a great show that never achieved it’s potential. Mainly because it was never promoted properly. I would love to see it come back. Unfortunately the cast members have moved on to other projects.

Howsabout if, instead of laying down all these rules for all men to follow, this lady just goes out and finds a man who conforms as near as possible to her idea of perfect, and lets everybody else do the same.

-I’m fairly sure my wife doesn’t particularly like it when I have a pot belly (which is about half the year, creeping up on on 2/3 of the year as I age!), especially when she works very hard to keep herself in great physical shape. Doesn’t mean she’s going to leave me for growing some pudge, but it does mean one way (out of a near infinite number of options) I can improve our relationship is to lay off the Ben and Jerrys. But here’s the thing: Body’s change over time, so you better hope your wife is hanging her hat on something a little more substantial (and you’d best do the same).

-The smell factor depends quite a bit on what you’ve been doing and how long its been since your last shower.

-My wife is way more impressed with my memory for what kind of wine she likes to drink with specific meals, and my affinity for ordering that for her, than she is with what drink I order for myself. As long as you stay away from foo foo drinks, I doubt many women give a shit, or would even notice if you ordered Scotch.

- All other arguments about men on Facebook aside, if you view your man being on facebook as an invasion of your privacy, then you are doing things on facebook you shouldn’t be doing.

-Wear the sexy lingerie underneath your cute outfit and we’ll take care of that awkward transition for you when we get back home. Sometimes we’ll even be graceful about it.

-I tend to agree about tank tops in public, but for the record: working outside on a hot day, on my own property, does not count as ‘in public’.

-Panties is not a sexy word. Panties are what little girls wear. If I have anything sexy to say about your underwear, I’ll come up with a better word than panties.

- For many-if-not-most men, it takes a lot of self-discipline to not stare at a woman’s breasts, especially wnen they are nice looking breasts, and especially when you have dressed in such a way as to “nudge” our attention in that direction. It is my belief that men who practice such self-discipline are often rewarded with a better caliber of woman than those who don’t. Your mileage may vary.

-If you’ve lived together for very long, you are correct, marriage changes very little from what you put into your relationship every day. However, marriage changes everything about what you get out of it.

So what do you think of this advice?

Its pretty typical female advice: you must change in every way but put up with my problems and annoying ways without complaint.

Probably why I’m single.