We Are ‘Synthetic Children’ And We Absolutely Agree With Designers Dolce & Gabbana

by Terresa Monroe-Hamilton | March 20, 2015 12:08 pm

Until Dolce and Gabbana came out last week[1] in support of traditional parenting, I honestly had not ever given a second thought to babies created through reproductive technologies. Babies are babies and they are a miracle. All parents want children and it is a modern wonder that if they cannot conceive, they can turn to technology. However, there is no substitute for having your actual parents and growing up with them. I would die for my children – we don’t always agree, but they can turn to mom and dad no matter what. I myself, never really knew my mother as my parents divorced when I was two. In that case, it was good riddance – she was not a good person. But my actual father was my best friend and I am very much like him. He was my world and when he died in my arms of a double heart attack in 1999, I was devastated. I would not have traded anything in my life for having the time with him that I did. He saved me over and over and I will always love and adore him.

From The Federalist:

In the study “My Daddy’s Name Is Donor[2],” it was found that, “Regarding troubling outcomes, even with controls, the offspring of lesbian couples who used a sperm donor to conceive appear more than twice as likely as those raised by their biological parents to report struggling with substance abuse,” an alarming result displaying the reality of being raised without both genetic parents.

Some suggest that spending more money on making children means that they are more loved. Our children are definitively wanted, they say.

“The baby doesn’t care anything about the money,” says marriage and family therapist Nancy Verrier, regarding the issues surrounding surrogacy. “That’s not what hurts the baby. The baby is hurt by the separation, by the loss of that mother that it knows.” This ever-present realization of loss remains with both mother and child throughout their lives. Nature has ensured that mothers and children attach to one another, as it is a trait necessary to our survival; without motivation to love or instinctively care for her child, why would a mother protect her children from potential danger? She wouldn’t, and that would have heralded the end of our species. With this biological connection so immediate and meaningful, why doesn’t society view maintenance of that connection as more imperative?

Dolce and Gabbana are realists whose daily work consumes their time with raw natural materials. They work hard to understand the practical applications and limitations of tangible things—silks, leathers, jewels, studs. As masters of their art, they know what is possible, and what is foolish to attempt. They owe their success to their understanding, appreciation, and honoring of the human body.

Growing up donor-conceived, it has been a great struggle to comply with the commandment “Honor thy mother and thy father,” because in order to obey the desires of one parent we must agree to the obliteration of the other. We plead, we beg: let us honor both our mothers and fathers as essential and irreplaceable.

Thank you, Domenico and Stefano, for your bravery.

I can relate missing having a mother. It makes things much harder and lonelier. That’s not to say you can’t love adoptive or surrogate parents – but there is a special bond between a child and their parents. It is survival – it is natural. The way children are produced these days and the unusual makeup of families is very confusing for those children and they have to be that much stronger to come out the other side as a balanced adult. There is no substitute for a traditional family. The belonging, the bond and the love transcends culture and time. It is irreplaceable.