Dennis Kucinich Bites Into the Jackpot

by Dave Blount | January 27, 2011 2:50 pm

We haven’t heard from the former Boy Mayor of the Mistake by the Lake for awhile. Did his alien friends[1] fly him away to a more progressive world? No such luck. He’s in the District of Criminals, doing what Democrats do best: sanctimoniously looting[2]. The vegan elf found an unpitted olive in his sandwich at the Congressional cafeteria. In the age of greedy lawyers run amok, that’s the same as striking gold.

Rep. Dennis Kucinich has rapped a U.S. House of Representatives cafeteria with a $150,000 lawsuit for selling him a vegetarian sandwich wrap in 2008 that he says caused dental damage when he bit into an olive pit.

In addition to dental damage, the pint-sized parasite wants other people’s money to compensate him for “pain, suffering, and loss of enjoyment.”

“Said sandwich wrap was unwholesome and unfit for human consumption in that it was presented to contain pitted olives, yet unknown to plaintiff, contained an unpitted olive or olives which plaintiff did not reasonably expect to be in the food prepared for him, and could not visually detect prior to consumption,” the lawsuit said.

Kucinich is also suing two companies that supply the cafeteria. Apparently providing the golden olive was a joint operation. Unlike the cafeteria itself, they probably can’t fall back on the deep pockets of us taxpayers.

It’s not easy running a business in a country where some greedy clown claiming an olive wasn’t pitted will cost you $150,000 plus legal fees. But that’s not Kookcinich’s problem. The Democrat philosophy is to grab all you can, while you can, before it all collapses, after which we’ll have socialist utopia. That’s how we got a national debt so huge that it will never be paid off.

dennis kucinich
The olive pit may be worth even more than his Pea Brain Award.

On tips from G. Fox, Wiggins, Dan, Wyatt’s Torch, Muddypaw, AC, and J. Cross-posted at Moonbattery[3].

Endnotes:
  1. alien friends: http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,307117,00.html
  2. looting: http://www.cleveland.com/open/index.ssf/2011/01/rep_dennis_kucinich_sues_cafet.html
  3. Moonbattery: http://www.moonbattery.com/

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