Illegal Alien’s Bill of Rights

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Illegal Alien’s Bill of Rights

Written By : Warner Todd Huston

President Barack Obama will soon introduce the Undocumented Resident’s Affirmative Toleration Act (URAT) in order to protect those unfortunate minorities that didn’t win life’s lottery by being born in the U.S.A. President Obama’s compassion for these downtrodden and oppressed peoples is well known, but he wants particular attention paid to those human beings that white Arizona racists have mercilessly attacked with their new ultra strict, unheard of anti-minority resident laws.

President Obama has released information of the URAT Act ahead of the scheduled press conference including the features of URAT.

The 2010 Undocumented Resident’s Affirmative Toleration Act (URAT) will summarily order the following:

Will protect minorities from oppressive laws such as residency requirements and will help undocumented residents receive government services
Will absolve undocumented workers from paying taxes
Will relieve undocumented residents from paying all bills
Will require natural born citizens to learn Spanish or Arabic so that undocumented citizens won’t have to work too hard
Will require hospitals, schools, and grocery stores to serve undocumented citizens for free
Will bestow citizenship on all family members as soon as one member has set foot on U.S. soil
Will automatically enroll undocumented citizens on voter rolls as Democrats unless citizen specifies otherwise
Will count all people living in Mexico as America citizens and enroll them in the Democrat Party unless citizens specify otherwise
Will waive insurance requirements and will automatically give driver’s licenses to undocumented drivers
Will require all schools to teach in Spanish and will eliminate American history to be replaced with La Raza approved Chicano History materials

Further Nancy Pelosi has added a section to the bill that provides for an automatic straight ticket Democrat vote for every undocumented resident that signs up for the program.

President Obama said that if he can’t get this bill passed in the final 2010 sessions he will turn it into an Executive Order and pass it anyway. You know, like he does most things.

Anonymous

Smithwicks bill of rights for illegals:

1) the right to a speedy deportation to your country of origin.

2) the right to a jail sentence for any other crimes you commit while in the US afterwards see right #1.

3) for all other complaints see rights #1 and #2.

Redriverted

You should try the exercise that lefties employ to shit taste better:

1) the right to a speedy *Repatriation* to your country of origin.
2) the right to *Free Accommodation* for any *Liberation* you *facilitate* while in the US afterwards see right #1
3) for all other *Helpful Suggestions* see rights #1 and #2.

See how much better that sounds?
Mahatma

the right to a speedy deportation to your country of origin.

If only Native Americans had had that attitude 300 years ago. *sigh*
Mahatma

the right to a speedy deportation to your country of origin.

If only Native Americans had had that attitude 300 years ago. *sigh*

Anonymous

They tried. They lost.
Think of it as evolution in action.

Martha

dixon, ya forgot the ‘d’

Emkkhan

The term “Native American” is not really accurate. There were no native humans on the American contenent. All of us are desended from people who came from Africa. The Asians came first, but they too were invaders and piligers of the new world. If you say that “native Americans” were the ones who crossed the Beiring Straight, then I must be more “native” than someone who came here later than me. In fact, if you are younger than I am, then I am more of a “native” than you are no matter who your ancestors were, because I have lived on this piece of rock for a longer ammount of time.
Also, Europeans have been here for over 500 years now. Figuring out the correct “attitude” of engagement towards the white people 300 years ago would still have been way too late….
Anonymous

They tried but to paraphrase your hero; we won, so we get to give the orders now.

Also how do you think the world would be a better place if they had won?

They’d still be living their idyllic garden of Eden existence with no violence or disease or hunger where all are equals and free?

Anonymous

I guess Huston must have been living in a cave for the past two years!
Hey, Huston: U-RAT has ALREADY been put into full force by the “You Lie!” hussein admin.
Redriverted

‘The 2010 Undocumented Resident’s Affirmative Toleration Act (URAT)’

That’s some Grade ‘A’ Newspeak Barry’s got going there.
Martha

“. . . that white Arizona racists have mercilessly attacked . . .”

Toady inadvertantly tells the truth.
NeoCon_1

You are off by just a tad on the automatic party affiliation. That will still happen, with Democrat party registration as the default, but if a until-recently-undocumented voter signals their desire to be placed on the GOP’s rolls, it will be done but without affecting their listing as a Democrat. This will relieve ACORN of having to write it in again later.
Eowyn

I did an Internet search for Undocumented Resident’s Affirmative Toleration Act (URAT), but found only bloggers talking about this. I went on the White House website but could find nothing on URAT. If Obama “has released information on the URAT Act,” then where is it? I went on the Library of Congress’ Thomas.gov website, but found no URAT Act. If “Nancy Pelosi has added a section to the bill,” then why isn’t it on Thomas?

Who Is Brett Kimberlin?

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