Obama: Vending Machine Operator in Chief

Wanna know the next stop for the Big Government juggernaut? School vending machines. That’s right, now that Obama has taken control of the auto manufacturers next he wants to control what sort of vending machine your schools have. Right after that he’ll likely decide that he….

You know, right there I was going to try and make some sort of outrageous statement as a joke, I was going to compare this socialist’s next move to something nutty, but I realized that there is no way to shock or outrage any more. Obama is such an outright dictatorial socialist that no one would be shocked by any joke I could make. I couldn’t come up with anything that would startle because, well, anything I’d joke about would seem utterly plausible.

Anyway, the story is that Obama thinks he has the power to decide what each school in the nation has in its vending machines. He’s decided to wave his royal scepter and smite all those eeeeevil “sugary snacks and drinks” that schools across the nation might have in vending machines.

Obama has directed his flunkey Tom Vilsack, Ag Secretary, to direct that the his royal heinous in the Palace at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington D.C., has decided that he controls your vending machines, America.

“Our children deserve better nutrition, and our country’s better and brighter future depends on it. And with the reauthorization of the Childhood Nutrition Act scheduled this year, there won’t be a better time than now to act boldly.”

That’s right, America. It’s a crisis and we don’t want a good crisis to go to waste, now do we?

Of course no one wants children to develop bad eating habits. No one wants kids to have a bad diet. But Mr. Obama it isn’t your business to regulate from Washington D.C. what sort of vending machines schools have. It just isn’t in your job description you Stalinist creep.

Sadly, the GOP might be going along with these Big Government commieworks. According to the AP Senator Saxby Chambliss (R, GA) is meeting with the first lady to discuss children’s nutrition.

And… uh, WHAT was this woman elected to again? WHY are Senators bowing and scraping to Queen Michelle for?


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