Things To Watch At DNC Tonight

So, you’re bored, the NFL doesn’t kick off till tomorrow night, nothing good is out on DVD, so, you tune into the Democratic National Abortionfest Convention. What are the top 5 things to watch for? USA Today tells us

1) Look for Michelle Obama to talk about how the president’s policies are moving the country forward, even in the face of a slow economic recovery. Unlike Ann Romney, who helped soften her spouse’s edges at last week’s GOP convention, the first lady doesn’t need to dwell much on the president as a husband and a father. With two-thirds of Americans holding a favorable view of Michelle Obama, she has proven to be a positive force for the White House.

Look for Michelle’s nose to grow as she lies about Obama’s record while he moves America forward to the same falls Greece is going over. Keep an ear on whether Michelle starts getting snotty and pushes race.

2) Political parties like to spotlight their up-and-comers….

Listen for how they push what they think is the #1 issue for women, abortion on demand.

3) There will be plenty of videos shown at the convention, highlighting issues such as pay equity for women and immigration. Two big Democratic names get their own screen time tonight: former President Jimmy Carter will tout Obama’s presidency and another film will be devoted to the legacy of senator and presidential mentor Edward Kennedy, who died in 2009.

Oh, good, the 2nd worst president ever behind Obama will be on display. Oh, and Mike Dukakis will be in the house. Fortunately, the Dems will show a video dedicated to a man who left a woman to slowly drown while he lawyered up and worked on his alibi.

4) The Democratic Party’s diversity will be on display at practically every turn….

Over here we’ll see someone who supports abortion on demand, over there we’ll see someone who supports late term abortion, here’s someone else who wants taxpayers to pony up so that this person can get free contraception and abortifacients. Oh, and look, we have a liberal debating a progressive!

5) What, exactly, do delegates do at political conventions besides hear speeches and nominate their choice for president? The party’s platform, including planks endorsing same-sex marriage and abortion rights, will be formally adopted.

The platform will also push for “comprehensive immigration reform”, ie, amnesty, as well as whining about campaign finance reform (ie, limiting the ability of groups that support Republicans from spending their own money) and pushing for more health care regulations. There will be a little bit on the economy, essentially the same old failed policies of tax and spend.

And a special guest will appear on the big board

All glory to the hypnotoad! Oh, and while you’re listening to the huge number of speeches patronizing women through abortion and free contraception, and hearing very little on the economy, also listen to see if any Democrats spontaneously break out into chants of “USA USA USA”. Won’t happen.

And don’t forget the blamestorming!

Crossed at Pirate’s Cove. Follow me on Twitter @WilliamTeach.

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