Top 15 Observations About the Massachusetts Senate race

According to blogger Greg Sargent, Martha Coakley’s campaign has sent a frantic last minute memo to top Democratic donors urging them to shell out the Benjamin’s because an internal poll shows the race to be “very tight.”

The memo is the latest sign that the campaign surge of Scott Brown has caught the Democrat establishment totally off guard. Now a few polls show Coakley with a double digit lead BUT the highly reliable Rasmussen polls show a dead heat and still some indicate that Brown will win by a wide margin. Either way the Democrats can read the writing on the wall:

“Our internal polling shows the race to be a very tight race that means we must do everything we can to ensure we are victorious,” reads the memo, which was written by Coakley’s finance chairman and sent to top donors Monday by the DNC.

“This additional assistance being spent on Brown’s behalf seems to be working,” the memo continues, alluding to outside cash being spent by groups such as the U.S. Chamber of Commerce and the Club for Growth. “Polling shows that Republican voters are more energized than Democrats and that we are having trouble moving Independents.”

“We have a battle on our hands,” the memo continues, beseeching donors to “max out” with a contribution of $2400. “We cannot win this race unless everyone comes together and gives this race everything they can.”

Wow! These Democrats seem to be in a form of mega panic mode don’t they? Even they see this as an ultra tight race that they can’t predict. Therefore let me be the first to offer the following, The top 15 observations on just how tight the Massachusetts Senate race really is.

15.”This thing is tighter than ….Joan River’s face, and damn near as scary.”

14.”This Massachusetts Senate race is tighter than ….a prairie dog’s butt in a dust bowl!”

13.”This race is tighter than …..Nancy Pelosi’s ugly, nasty, wrinkled old butt.”

12.”This race is about as hard to call as ….a deaf hog up an oak tree.”

11.”It’s a Steelcage Deathmatch between the Cosmo Conservative and the Liberal Lapdog, and I’m not bettin’ bupkiss on the outcome.”

10.”Politics makes strange bedfellows and this election is soooo close, Scott Brown and Martha Coakley may have to move bunkbeds next to each other in the senate chambers. Hay that would make a pretty funny sitcom.”

9.“This race is tighter than ….Pat Robertson’s sphincter muscle during Gay Pride week.”

8.”These polls in Massachusetts are bouncing around like ….Dolly Parton jumping rope on a trampoline.”

7.”This race is locked up tighter than …..an Iowa trailer park in tornado season.”

6.”This race is tighter than ….Roseanne Barr’s bike shorts…………..Egggh.”

5.”Tell Grandma to take her teeth out of the glass, this is a real nail biter.”

4.”This race is stickier than ….a pine cone enema on a hot night in the bayou.”

3.”The race in Massachusetts is tighter than…Ann Coulter’s mini-skirt, and just as likely to piss off Democrats.”

2.”If Scott Brown wins Ted Kennedy’s seat the Democrats will claim they were screwed harder than a drunken Robin Meade at a CNN Christmas party.”

1.”If the Democrats loose this race, you can call Ned Beatty and fire up ‘Dueling Banjos’ because they’ll be squealing like a pig.”

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