BREAKING NEWS: FBI Uncovers Evidence That 62 Million Trump Voters Are All Russian Agents

by Frank Lea | July 12, 2017 11:54 pm

We’re sorry to announce the staggering truth that will leave you seething. You may not believe us at first, but we still must inform you that all 62 million of Trump’s voters were Russian agents. Every last Trump voter is actually a top secret Russian agent. You. Me. Our friends – all of us. We’re all Russian and we didn’t even know it.

The good news is that we’re kidding. However, the above joke is exactly what liberals are thinking right now. When liberals aren’t trying to determine their gender, then they’re making up stories about Russian collusion and are actually stupid enough to think that Russia made us vote for Trump.

WRONG!

LIBERALS MADE US VOTE FOR TRUMP.

If it wasn’t for all the people getting offended at everything, protesting every little thing and crying about everything they can think of – then maybe Hillary would have won.

Let’s put the real truth out there. Russia didn’t have anything to do with Hillary’s loss. Every political opponent on this planet digs dirt on each other and that’s the bottom line. No one is immune to dirt digging and political bashing. You know what else is true – I think if Hillary’s fans weren’t so darn childish and annoying, that Hillary would’ve had a chance. Think about how many Trump voters pulled the trigger just to shove a boot in the backside of a whiny liberal or dingbat crazy feminist. Enough for Trump to win, that’s how much.

Then there’s the whole Russian hacking nonsense. While Democrats are forcing Bernie Sanders out of the race and getting caught cheating at voter stations, or having illegal immigrants voting, the left is trying to smokescreen all of their wrong doing by pointing fingers at Russian hackers. Nope. Not falling for that either, liberals.

Then they called Trump racist. The guy has been in the spotlight for years and has not once ever been called a racist. That narrative is shot. Okay, let’s call him a womanizer because he called his enemies ugly or fat. Well, he said the truth. Rosie O’Donnell IS ugly and fat, so at least Trump isn’t a liar. But that’s so childish, right? Yeah, about as childish as that pig going after Trump’s ten year-old boy with Autism slams.

Maybe they can say Trump hates gays! Trump was pro-LBGTBBQ from the beginning. Did I get those in the wrong order? Oh well and don’t even start with the pronoun nonsense. I’ll call people whatever I want and I’m not pretending some dude with a penis is a real woman just because he’s dressed in a romper (which are only for real women, not men or men dressed as women…ever).

When does everyone get their check from the Kremlin? Just kidding. I already got mine.  Or did I?

If you think everyone is really a Russian agent, then you might be a liberal.

If you think Americans voted because they were sick and tired of whiny liberals, then you might be a darn good America loving patriot.

I think I’d rather hang out with the Trump supporters and those who love our country, wouldn’t you?

And no – none of us are Russian and Russia didn’t force us to vote.

We voted because WE wanted to and we fought back with our vote.

It’s time to Make America Great Again!

If you want to read another funny article, then read this story at I Have The Truth[1] – they touch on more Russian satire than Putin can handle.

Endnotes:
  1. this story at I Have The Truth: https://ihavethetruth.com/2017/07/10/fbi-evidence-trump-voters-russian-agents/

Source URL: https://rightwingnews.com/humor/breaking-news-fbi-uncovers-evidence-62-million-trump-voters-russian-agents/