Fake Interview: DragonBall Z

Narrator: Today on Dragon Ball Z Goku has just defeated the evil inter-planetary warlord Vrill and has fallen to the ground, but who is the mysterious new stranger walking towards Goku?

Ozrael: That's me, Oz.

The Bald Guy: Oz? Who's this guy?

The Woman: *Mouth gaping*

Vegeta: Oz huh? I AM THE PRINCE OF ALL SAYANS!!! YOU WILL FALL BEFORE ME!!!

Ozrael: Actually, I was hoping to ask you a few questions...

Narrator: WIll Vegeta answer the questions? Or will he achieve an all new level of power and destroy this Oz. Only time will tell, on the next episode of DRAGON BALL Z!!!

Ozrael: Umm...

Vegeta: Silence weakling!

Narrator: Yesterday on Dragon Ball Z a mysterious new stranger appeared and challenged Vegeta to battle for the fate of the planet. Will they do battle or will Goku insists on battling in Vegeta's place?

Goku: I insist on battling in Vegetas place!

The Bald Guy: Huh? No Goku, you can't. You're too weak after your battle with Vrill!

Vegeta: NO!!! I AM THE PRINCE OF ALL SAYANS AND I WILL BE THE ONE TO DO BATTLE WITH THIS "OZ"!!!

Ozrael: Actu...

Narrator: Who will do battle with this mysterious stranger? Will it be our hero Goku or will it be the Super Powered Vegeta? Only time will tell on the next episode of DRAGON BALL Z!!!

Ozrael: Can I just ask you guys some questions?

The Bald Guy: What's he doing?

Vegeta: SILENCE BALD ONE! THE NEXT EPISODE APPROACHES!!!

Narrator: Yesterday on Dragon Ball Z, Goku and Vegeta nearly came to blows with one another over who would save the Earth from the evil that is OZ!!!!

Ozrael: Ozrael actually, and I wanted to know more about you guys...

Goku: Hey.

Ozrael: Hi.

Vegeta: I END THIS NOW FOR I AM THE PRINCE OF ALL SAYANS!!!

Ozrael: Oh.

Narrator: Oh? These are heavy words when the fate of the world rests in the balance. Find out if Oz can back them up on tomorrows episode of DRAGON BALL Z!!!

Ozrael: Can we talk?

Goku: Actually not between episodes.

Ozrael: Oh.

Narrator: Yesterday on Dragon Ball Z Oz-RAY-El the interdimensional gladiator and king of a thousand slave worlds boasted of his fighting prowess and raw power, will he overcome our heroes and enslave our reality or will he be beaten back by Vegeta and Goku.

Ozrael: I never actually...

Vegeta: PREPARE TO DIE!!!! AHHHHHHHH *POWERING UP*

Ozrael: Okay...

Narrator: Will Oz-RAY-El prepare to die? Or will he shrug off Vegetas incoming blast? Find out tomorrow on DRAGON BALL Z!!!

Narrator: Yesterday on Dragon Ball Z Vegeta was preparing to strike a massive blow against this Oz-RAY-El

Vegeta: AAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!! *POWERING UP*

Ozrael: What the hell are you doing?

Vegeta: AAAAHHHHHHHH!!!! *POWERING UP*

Ozrael: What's he doing?

Goku: He's powering up.

Narrator: Will Oz-RAY-El be able to withstand Vegeta's coming blow? FIND OUT TOMORROW ON THE EXCITING CONCLUSION OF DRAGON BALL Z!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ozrael: I just wanted to ask some questions...

Narrator: Yesterday on Dragon Ball Z Oz-RAY-El stood poised for combat and even laughed as Vegeta powered up, will Vegeta wipe the smile off of his face? or will Oz-Ray-El wipe Vegeta off of this planet?

Vegeta: AHHHHHHHHH!!!! *Powering Up*

Ozrael: So when does this happen?

Goku: Any second now.

The Bald Guy: Oh my gosh! He's going to blow up the whole planet!

The Woman: No.... Goku I love you!

Vegeta: FINAL FLASH *Releases a blast of energy that consumes Ozrael and an entire square mile around him*

A smoking crater: *smokes ominously*

Narrator: Is Oz-RAY-El really vanquished or will he climb out of the crator unscathed by Vegeta's massive assault? FIND OUT TOMORROW ON DRAGON BALL Z.

Ozrael: Actually, I'm okay.

Goku: YOU RUINED IT!

Ozrael: Ruined what?

The Bald Guy: *Gaping mouth*

Goku: The suspense.

Ozrael: Sorry.

Narrator: S***.

Vegeta: Look what you've done fool!

Ozrael: Look I didn't mean to...

The Woman: No, no you didn't... mean to ruin our lives!!!

Ozrael: I just wanted to...

Narrator: Now what am I supposed to do?

Ozrael: I don't know.

The Bald Guy: *Standing mouth stricken open in shock*

Ozrael: ... I'm sorry.

Goku: You can't talk between episodes!

Ozrael: I think I should leave.

Goku: Probably...

Vegeta: NO, WE WILL FINISH THIS!!!

Ozrael: How?

Goku: Man, you better power up quick.

Ozrael: Okay... ummm... power up... *begins to power up*

The Bald Guy: Oh my gosh.

Ozrael: Hey this is cool *powering up*... my hair is standing on end.

The Woman: No Goku, I love you!

Vegeta: *laughs* I do not fear you... for I AM...

Ozrael: the prince of all Sayans? *POWERING UP*

Vegeta: Actually yes...

Ozrael: *POWERING UP*

The Bald Guy: HOLY SMOKES YOU'RE GOING TO BLOW UP THE WHOLE PLANET!!!! YOU'VE GOT TO STOP!!!

Ozrael: *POWERING UP*

Vegeta: huh?

Ozrael: *POWERING UP* FIREBALL THINGIE!!!!

Narrator: Holy f***!!!

Ozrael: *Blows up the whole world*

Vegeta: Damn...

Goku: Wow...

Narrator: We got that all on tape right? Good... we'll dub me in when it airs. Thanks Oz.

Ozrael: Yeah, no problem.

Goku: Fireball thingie?

Everyone: *Hearty Laughter*

Narrator: A happy ending afterall but from where will the next threat arise? Say, who is that mysterious stranger flying into our Solar system? Find out that and more on tomorrows DRAGON BALL Z!!!

Whiskey Jack: *Shoots the narrator for no other reason than to boost ratings* Hell f***ing yeah...

If you liked this satire by Ozrael, check out more of his work at the eReel.