Emperor Galactus

John Hawkins:: Hello I am doing a paper on the US….I would like to ask questions please about your country =D

Betsy:: Ok

John Hawkins:: I am from the Faeroe islands and I am doing a paper on the US for my college class but there is little information about the US except on the TV and it is all controlled by GOV’T so I’m not sure it’s all true…

(After a short pause)

Betsy:: So are you going to ask me some questions? Or what?

John Hawkins:: First of all, I was watching the news last night and it said 1/3rd of all Americans were homeless. I thought that was weird because you guys are very rich.

Betsy:: Well there are a lot of homeless people… but it really has nothing to do with the amount of money our country has because these people usually can’t read or write because they didn’t go to school, and they have no ambition to work and most of them are quite happy with their lives.

John Hawkins:: Yeah I thought America was a good country no matter what they say on the news..ok question 2: I heard that there was a big nuclear accident in Pennsylvania a while back and that no one can live in that state anymore. Is that why there are a lot of homeless people? I feel bad for all those people…

Betsy:: Nope no nuclear explosion. People still live in Pennsylvannia and no that isn’t why there are alot of homeless people.

John Hawkins:: That’s strange. 3) When the USA conquered Hawaii in 1968 I heard that a lot of women and children were massacred and it was covered up from the American people. Have you heard of that? (They had a big special on TV about it last week)

Betsy:: I have never heard of that.

John Hawkins:: Yeah, they said on the news if you ask Americans about it they all say that. Ok #4) They were saying last night that in the Gulf war back 1990 that the US and IRAQ teamed up to conquer Kuwait and then Kuwait and all the Arab states defeated the US. I thought that was weird because everyone says the US military is so strong. How did the US lose?

Betsy:: I have no idea. I don’t know a lot about the military and past of the United States. I’m taking a class on that right now though.

John Hawkins:: I am sorry about these questions. We have an emperor and he controls the news and we don’t get to get news from other sources. We literally just got the internet in the Faeroe islands a week ago so most of us have never talked to people from other countries. #5) I was reading a history book about the US. It’s from 1968 tho =( It said Richard Nixon was president. Is he still the president or has someone replaced him?

Betsy:: Richard Nixon was part of a scandal called “watergate” and he was messing with the government funds or something. So he resigned and after him we had Jimmy Carter for four years and then we had Ronald Reagen for eight years and then we had George H. Bush for four years and now we have Bill Clinton. We’ve had him for eight years . and right now we are in the middle of another presidential election so we will soon have another president

John Hawkins:: Ronald Reagan? I once saw a cowboy movie of his. Are George Bush and Bill Clinton actors too?

Betsy:: I do not think it was the same Ronald Reagan and no none of the presidents have been actors . At least none of the recent ones

John Hawkins:: Ok good. #6) I heard that Americans do not allow women to vote. That is bad. Why don’t women get to vote?

Betsy:: Women ARE allowed to vote. I just looked up the date on this in 1917 congress passed an amendment to the constitution that said that women could vote. Women do not have equal rights though. But that is ok in the U. S. Because if we had equal rights we would have to be signed up for the armed forces and many women do not want that.

John Hawkins:: #7) I have heard the US is controlled by a “green” party run by a Ralph Nader and that he is a socialist..but I heard America is democracy..

Betsy:: There is such thing as the green party but I believe it’s a third economic party. (Republicans, Democratics, and the Green party) but I’m not sure on that.

John Hawkins:: #8) I heard that Americans have mutants called “X-men” and they are persecuted by your governemnt but that there is a school that trains them to fight crime too (I read about this in graphic book that a friend from America gave me)

Betsy:: Hahah….sorry X men are cartoons. They are intended for little children. Like any other television show for children. They are not real they are made up.

John Hawkins:: But I saw them in a book from America..It was not real at all? Then you have no Justice League either? Are these like propaganda publications?

Betsy:: You saw them in comic books. No, they are not real they are all made up … simply to entertain young children

John Hawkins:: That leads me to question 9) I heard that all Americans have guns and often shoot each other with them and foreigners too!! How many times have most people been shot?

Betsy:: There is A LOT of violence in America. We have a very high crime rate. American citizen are allowed to own their own fire arms and a lot of them kill people with them.

John Hawkins:: Have you killed a lot of people too or just a few =(

Betsy:: I HAVEN”T KILLED ANYONE! LOL. Not all Americans kill people. If you kill someone you get put in jail for the rest of your life and in some states you may even get the death penalty where the government kills you for killing people.

John Hawkins:: Oh I thought U had =) I am glad u haven’t =] #10) I heard that in America there are pirates that capture people and make them row on their ships and walk the plank! Is it really dangerous to be on the sea there?

Betsy:: Lol that’s in movies when pirates use to be around that is what they would make people do. we do not walk on planks any more and there are no more pirates lol no it’s not dangerous to be on our oceans

John Hawkins:: I was wondering abou that! I thought that sounded crazy =] #12) This is scary..I heard that people are burned if they are suspected of being witches in the US. Especially in Salem, Wisconsin

Betsy:: Salem massachusets but that was wayyyyyyyy back in time about a couple hundred years ago I’d say. it was called the Salem witch trials it was thought that witches were a harm to their community and were up to no good. So by killing them they would rid their community of wrong and evil.

John Hawkins:: Ah… #13) This one is really gross. I heard that Americans eat a food called “Soylent Green” and that it’s made of people…is that true?

Betsy:: Lol NO!!!!!!!!!!!! We do not eat people!

John Hawkins:: Hmmmm….Our tourism guide said u may say that. Here’s a quote from it “Poor Americans often wayleigh careless foreigners and make them into a green gruel they call soylent green”

Betsy:: Lol nooooooooo we do not eat people.

John Hawkins:: Ok…if you say so…#14) My roommate told me to ask you about a movie he saw about life in America. It was called “Deliverance”. He said to ask you what “you are purdy like a girl” and “squeel like a pig mean”. He said you would know about it. I haven’t seen the movie tho. =(

Betsy:: Purdy like a girl means pretty and squeal like a pig……..I have no clue

John Hawkins:: I thought it was something to do with eating people =( #15) I heard that many Americans idolize a fitness guru named Richard Simmons. Why is that? He is just good at exercising and things right?

Betsy:: Lol Richard Simmons is often an inspiration to over weight people to start excersing. Ya he is good at excersing but nobody really idolizes him

John Hawkins:: #16) They told me in school that American was an “Imperialistic” country and that you took over Alaska and Hawaii and that soon America would conquer Canda, Mexico, and Cuba. Are you planning on taking over any other countries or just those?

Betsy:: Hawaii and Alaska are not countries they are states. We let them into our country. We are not planning on taking over Canada and Mexico and Cuba. Many people from Cuba run away from their country and come to the United States for a better life.

John Hawkins:: Oh that is not what the Emperor says about America…strange. Ok…#17 I heard that America takes children from foreigners who bring them to the US. There was one called Elian that the US did this with. Would you recomend that foreigners not bring their children to the US if they come there on vacation?

Betsy:: What you might be thinking about when you hear that we take kids from other places is adoption. Many Americans adopt children from third world countries in order to give them a better life. Your emperor makes the United states out to be a very bad place!

John Hawkins:: Emperor Galactus says that one day the US will take over the world and bring a great darkness down on all all us.

Betsy:: lol the United States ISN”T trying to take over the world in fact we often send out military to other countries to help them from being conquered from other countries. Where do you live anyhow?

John Hawkins:: The Faeroe islands \=] We are near Troy. Yeah the emperor runs all the newspapers and TV. They have camera’s installed on all the streets and in our houses too to make sure we don’t do anything bad. Do you guys have cameras everywhere there too?

Betsy:: NO! we have cameras in stores but that is in case someone tries to steal from thereThen they will be caught. we have a lot more freedom than you do.

John Hawkins:: Oh, well you can’t like criticize the government or anything there can you? If we say anything bad about emperor Galactus here (All praise the maginificence that is Galactus) then they come at night and take you away to the porcelain mines for 20 years.

Betsy:: We can say whatever we want. In the United States we have Freedom Of Speech. That means that we can say whatever we want and can not get punished for it. That really stinks that they take you away! That’s crazy

John Hawkins:: Oh yeah. I am allowed to go to college here but when I get out I have to go work in the government’s chemical weapons factory designing anthrax germs. I don’t even have a choice either =(

Betsy:: Anthrax germs?! Aren’t those bad

John Hawkins:: Yes they are. The germs I will be making will be used to poison farm animals all over the world but there won’t be anything I can do about it…..The penalty for not taking your assigned job is to be buried in an antihill and covered with honey. You know what happens then..ants love honey and it’s sweet, sweet, taste. So I have no choice =( =(

Betsy:: Why are you making these germs to kill farm animals?

John Hawkins:: The emperor gets paid a lot of money from countries like Iraq, Syria, Austrailia, and Lebannon to do terrorist acts. Our country provides the germs and the manpower and they provide the school buses full of children

Betsy:: Do you realize how bad that is… what school buses full of children?

John Hawkins:: Yes…it is terrible..almost as terrible as doing internet pranks on unsuspecting people =D http://www.brassknuckles.net/humicq.html

Betsy:: Lol what is this?

John Hawkins:: This is John Hawkins from Brass Knuckles Webzine =] I was doing an internet prank on you for my page =]

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