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Kneecapping Barack Obama at every opportunity. | ||
(2002-11-17) -- Although Al Gore has not yet announced whether he will run for president in 2004, he has revealed his probable campaign slogan: "You people are idiots."
After his crushing defeat to George W. Bush in 2000, Mr. Gore decided that he would no longer make decisions based on political polls and consultants. He came up with the slogan himself.
This week, he told Time magazine that, despite the ringing endorsement voters gave to Mr. Bush in the mid-term elections, the president's economic agenda is "catastrophic," his foreign policy "horrible," his environmental stance "immoral."
"In other words," said Mr. Gore, "the voters are morons. If I run in 2004, it won't be against Bush. I'll run against the imbeciles who elected all these Republicans."
Mr. Gore told Time that the country is "headed for very deep trouble."
"Despite two years of test-driving the Bush administration's ideas," he said, "these nitwit voters bought the car. They've given a mandate to this disaster-in-boots."
Mr. Gore plans to produce his own campaign ads for TV and radio. The spots will feature the candidate himself. The following is an excerpt of a script from one such ad.
MR. GORE: Do you know the central thesis of the The Federalist papers number nine? (PAUSE) Of course you don't.
Have you ever read any of Shakespeare's plays or sonnets all the way through? (PAUSE) I doubt it.
Can you work through a simple quadratic equation? (PAUSE) Don't make me laugh.
Let's face the facts: You people are idiots. You elected George Bush, and then handed him a Republican majority in Congress.
I'm Al Gore, and I'm smarter than you. Don't trust your puny little brain to make the right decision about who should lead our nation. Trust me. I know what's best for this country. Remember, you people are idiots. Vote for Al Gore."
If you liked this article, check out more of Scott's work at Scrappleface.
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