If Your Girlfriend is a Vegetarian…

Well, my Grrrlfriend is a vegetarian, and I am not. So I thought I would write a little guide to the do’s/do not’s of living with a vegetarian, which can be quite tricky at times.

1. Vegetarians really do like meat, they are just really stubborn people, that like to be different. My GF constantly dreams about meatlovers pizza from pizza hut. DO NOT take your ‘partner’ to pizza hut after they tell you this and order a meat lover pizza while they are stuck eating some wet noodles and spinich. It really screws them up.

2. If per chance you do order a meat lovers pizza, DO NOT do any of the following things. a) Moan with pleasure with every bite. b) Pick off all the different types of meat and explain where is came from and talk to it, and make the sounds of the animal it came from. c) Roll some of the little sausage ball things towards them, and then wonder aloud how they got there.

3. Don’t keep meat in the house. They can sense it and will always find it no matter where you hide it. They claim that they found it cause it stinks, but we all know that they could smell the blood and tore up the house looking for it in a primal-hunter sort of rage.

4. When you see a cow/pig/chicken, whatever, do not look at it, drool and say ‘Hey, that guy looks pretty good, wonder if he would miss a leg or two’… not a good thing to do…

5. P.E.T.A stands for ‘People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals’… not ‘People Eat Tasty Animals’… don’t get these two mixed up…

By following these simple rules, you should be able to survive living with a vegitarian… but you prolly won’t… in any case, say good-bye to those wonderful BBQ’s…

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