Marry Me Jennifer!!!
Hey! Thanks for coming to this part of my web page. This page was created in hopes that I could get married to the woman I love.
Her name is: Jennifer Layton. She’s a humor columnist for Brass Knuckles Webzine and she actually lives in North Carolina just like me! I managed to meet her via email and I knew she was the one for me.
Almost immediately I tracked down her address over the net and drove to her house. She was delighted to meet me and yet she was so shy. Always running away, going pale, and screaming “leave me alone.”
You should of heard her right after I took the picture to the left. When she realized I’d been in her backseat for the last 25 miles, boy was she surprised!
It was all so cute! I knew I had to make her mine! So Jennifer and I were talking about the internet and web pages in just a normal conversation (except for the screaming she was doing. It’s one of those odd little quirks that make her so endearing). I said that it was possible for millions of people to visit one page on the web. My pretty little corpse (that’s my pet name for her) didn’t think it could happen.
We made a bet about it, and I said that if I won she would have to marry me (despite the restraining order). This was intended to be a joke, but she actually agreed to this bet!! If I get 1 MILLION HITS on this page, she will really marry me!
I was getting ready to hand her a towel but she got all hysterical on me just because I broke into her house. Women are so weird sometimes.
I’m sure you think it sounds stupid to get married off of a bet like this, but it actually happened and we really do love each other. This is a TRUE STORY!!!
Please help me marry the woman I love by forwarding this page either by ICQ, MSN, AIM or e-mail. If you’ve ever loved someone so much that you’ve kidnapped their dog and held it at your house until they’ll talk to you again then you’ll know what I mean.
Please forward the page to as many people as you can before Jennifer moves somewhere else without giving me her address!
I took this one last night at 2:37 A.M. She never knew I was there!
Also don’t just reload this page over and over. I can’t lie to her!! I already lied about going through her panty drawer when she was at that party last week and it hurt me inside to do that!!
Thanks for the: inspiration: at (This link is dead..much like Jennifer’s dog will be if I don’t get a million hits!)
FacebookTwitterEmail If you missed “John Hawkins’s Guide to Child Care: The First Two Months”, you can read it: here. This is
FacebookTwitterEmail We got hit with a gargantuan, mammoth, king kong, sized snow storm here in Charlotte, North Carolina today. Yes,
FacebookTwitterEmail Every so often, some product on Amazon will catch people’s attention and dozens, sometimes hundreds, of people will flock