Mother’s Butt Caulker Gets Nailed

New Jersey officials said a quack “doctor” from the Dominican Republic was caught perpetrating what he was telling immigrant women was a surgical enhancement of their rear-ends this week.

The criminal was injecting household caulk into these women’s rear ends, telling them that the procedure would make them more alluring to men so that they could get a mate and have many children.

Six women were hospitalized.

You may ask why I am reporting this story? Is it proof of a great failure of the Democratic Party? Is it an example of the end of our civilization? How about evidence of the further degradation of our society and economy? No to all of these.

This story is here merely to give me a chance to say, “Mother’s Butt Caulker Gets Nailed.”

I mean, we don’t want this story to slip through the cracks, you know? This quack doc is a rear and present danger. Talk about “junk in the trunk.” Let’s hope if this guy is released he doesn’t do any back sliding.

Thank you

That is all

(Add your own bad puns below)

Warner Todd Huston

Warner Todd Huston is a Chicago-based freelance writer, has been writing opinion editorials and social criticism since early 2001 and is featured on many websites such as Andrew Breitbart's, and all Breitbart News' other sites,,, and many, many others. Additionally, he has been a frequent guest on talk-radio programs across the country to discuss his opinion editorials and current events as well as appearing on TV networks such as CNN, Fox News, Fox Business Network, and various Chicago-based news programs. He has also written for several history magazines and appears in the book "Americans on Politics, Policy and Pop Culture" which can be purchased on He is also the owner and operator of Feel free to contact him with any comments or questions : EMAIL Warner Todd Huston and follow him on Twitter, on Google Plus , and Facebook.

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