| |||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Kneecapping Barack Obama at every opportunity. | ||
"Survivor: Islamic Law" is going to be the next craze in reality tv, according to pundits and network executives. Created by television genius Mark Burnett, the show will closely follow the Survivor format but will have only female contestants and will pit them against each other under the harsh Islamic regime of Saudi Arabia. Set to air next spring and to be filmed this fall outside
Mecca, the show will feature sixteen American women competing for a million dollars and voting each other off week by week. "That is, unless they don't get stoned to death first," laughed Burnett, appearing on CBS's Early Show yesterday. The women will not be provided with anything, and that includes veils and robes. "They'll have the usual Survivor logo bandannas, and bikinis, of course, but that's about it. So the minute a Saudi official sees one of them, she'll be killed," said Burnett.
Luxury and reward challenges for the women on "Survivor: Islamic Law" will include stealing bread from a local baker without getting your hand chopped off, looking in the general direction of a man without getting flagellated in the public square, trying to get behind the wheel of a car without being bayonetted and saying nice things about Jews out loud within earshot of a Saudi police officer without getting shot on sight. Jenna Lewis and Colleen Haskell from the first Survivor conceded that "Survivor: Islamic Law" sounds much tougher than the time they spent getting a tan and eating rice and bananas on the island of Pulau Tiga in the South China Sea. But former sorority girl Kelly Goldsmith, one of the contestants from "Survivor: Africa," insists that she and her fellow competitors had it much worse. "Like, there was like, that one time, for example, when the US Air Force mistook where we lived for an Al Qaeda training camp. That was like, totally gnarly."
Burnett rejects claims that "Survivor: Islamic Law" is sensationalistic and exploitative of the current tenuous world political situation. "I've been planning this Survivor for ages. Really. And what I am interested in is artistic integrity and originality. Not ratings or money." Burnett stayed mum when asked whether rumors that two of Osama Bin Laden's fifty daughters had been chosen for the show were true. "But if the rumors are true, again, those girls were chosen because they were the best candidates, not because of who their father is and a cheap ratings grab."
An Al Qaeda spokesman said that Nancy and Elise Bin Laden had indeed been chosen for the new Survivor and that their father was "beaming and proud. He's a great dad and he's always taught his daughters to follow their dreams. Of course, if they wear bikinis he will personally order their executions. But that's not personal. That's business."
If you liked this article, check out more material from Broken Newz by clicking
here.
|
|||||
|
|
| |||
