Tasmanian Devils. Man’s New Best Friend?
Tasmanian devils have recently become very popular exotic pets in our country. Everyday more and more people forego getting more traditional pets like cats and dogs to purchase lovable tasmanian devils. Although Tasmanian Devils (known as devils from this point on) have gotten a bad rap from the cute but destructive Loony Toons character Taz, they are really some of the best and most lovable pets anyone can have. Let’s find out a little more about our new, furry, friends shall we?
Devils are the size of small dogs and they are noted for several physical traits. They have such incredibly powerful jaws that they’re known as the “rotweiller of Tasmania.” Tasmanian Devils are capable of biting through plastic, bone, and even steel if startled. They also have a luxurious, oily coat. Although their coat is gorgeous, you may want to be prepared for what Tasmanian natives call “ooklaboocha.” It’s a dark, slimy, dank smelling, grease like trail that devils on everything they touch. Furthermore, devils also can’t stand water. Devils have been known to go into day long “psychotic rages” when forced to take baths. This is understandable because any devils that come into contact with water almost immediately break out with huge, green, festering , rashes that takes months to heal. During this time, devils grow very confused and anxious and are known to endlessly run in circles and smash into walls at full speed.
Unlike cats and dogs, devils are easy to feed. They will eat any sort of garbage, carrion, or corpses. They also enjoy live food and will happily hunt down and eat anything they are able to overcome in combat. That includes cats, ferrets, dogs, iguanas, cows, horses, and even elephants. I know you are wondering how they could possibly kill an elephant. They have jaws so powerful that can crush an elephants head like a coconut in a vise.
Devils also have a number of endearing traits. The can be warm, cuddly, and even loving…unless they are startled. Devils can be startled by a number of things including, turning on a tv, flipping on a light switch, talking, standing up, children’s laughter, or looking at them.
When startled, devils fly into berserk rages and often attempt to smash through plate glass windows, tear their way through furniture, and savagely attack small children. It is obviously very important **NOT** to startle devils.
It is also important to understand that devils are nocturnal. They enjoy roaming through the house late at night and making their lovely (but loud) mating squeal over and over. They also love to copulate they confuse with anything they confuse for a potential mate. Anything left on the floor from clothes baskets, to coffee tables, to even the human leg is apt to draw a wildly squealing, biting, yet happy devil.
To conclude, tasmanian devils are the best pets a human being can have. Feisty yet caring, fierce yet savage, these animals are truly man’s best friend.
Descending from Air Force One, Obama Press Secretary Robert Gibbs clutches his latest choice of reading material, the “Star Wars