The Top 10 al-Queda Excuses For Why We Haven’t Heard From Bin Laden Since Tora Bora

by John Hawkins | January 1, 2012 9:32 pm

10) Bin who? look, we’re just a pizza delivery service. Please leave us alone…please.

9) The 72 virgins were delivered ahead of schedule … you’d be gone for 7 months too if you had 72 honeymoons to attend too.

8) Osama got a bad case of stage fright and until he gets over it, no more public appearances.

7) After al-Queda got kicked around in Afghanistan, Osama went to a Shaolin monastery to train. Until he’s able to snatch the pebble from his master’s hand he can’t leave.

6) Not been heard from? Osama’s on channel 137 in Oman every night. Don’t you guys get that channel in America?

5) He can’t come out to play since his mother grounded him for rough housing the family pet camel.

4) Bin Laden has recently become addicted to Diablo II and now goes by the game name, Puff Jiggy.

3) He’s with his tailor trying to figure out if he should wear the old military green outfit or the new military green outfit for the next video.

2) He’s just been resting his eyes…for seven months.

1) Osama has been too busy coming up with a recipe for al-Queda to use at bake sales to make more money. Once he perfects his recipe for “Osama’s Delicious Almond Nut Brownies” then America will tremble with fear!

Thanks to the people from the: Utopia Politics Forums[1]: for contributing to this….

Endnotes:
  1. Utopia Politics Forums: http://boards.swirve.com/board.cgi?boardset=utopia&boardid=politics

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