Things to remember when dating geeks, nerds, dorks, and various other socially challenged guys

How to land and keep the elusive geekfish

1) Make the first move. You’ll die of boredom otherwise.

2) If they ask you out, they mean it. Oh, and don’t be surprised if they know quite a few things about you already, like your favorite color, your class schedule, or your computer specifications.

3) You are correct. You do not exist when they are playing a game online.

4) Don’t EVER accuse them of cheating on you.

5) They’re easily embarrassed.

6) If you want some fun ::wink, wink::, kick their little behinds at their favorite video game.

7) Expect to know two versions of the person: The debonair online personality, and the social klutz of real life.

8) Computer programs can be sexy.

9) Encourage them to take care of themselves. That’s right, make a big deal about how bad their room smells.

10) Pretend to understand when they go off about computer terms. The best way is to nod at key points, and glaze over. Don’t tell them that you don’t understand, because they will spend days, months, years, or eons trying to explain it to you.

11) Give them food. They are just like small animals, they keep coming back for food.

12) If they tune you out, or become glued to their monitors, it is perfectly acceptable to style their hair in weird and unusual ways. This includes, but is not limited to: flock of seagulls, braiding, and mowhawks.

13) Watch carefully for humor. From the socially inept, humor is usually so dry and delivered with so much sincerity, that it is virtually indistinguishable from when they are stating fact. Be careful though, you risk offending them when they were serious.

14) If they don’t show up on time, they’re either dead, or some new game/program came out, and they need to beat it before their friends. Assume the latter until proven otherwise.

15) Know the release dates of most major hardware and software releases. Avoid them when planning dates.

Good things

1) They won’t cheat on you with other women.

2) They’re easy to find.

3) They’re usually into techno dance music. (That is a good thing, trust me. You ain’t getting this guy near a dance hall for at least a while.)

4) They’re not into Football.

5) They’re scared of you.

6) They’re scared of themselves.

7) They have odd hours.

8) They can fix your computer for free, and make it run better too.

9) They’re into Monty Python, and other classic movies.

10) They write for Brass Knuckles Webzine.

Bad things

1) They may cheat on you with digital or animated women.

2) They’re hard to get rid of.

3) They can’t dance.

4) They’re into Quake (Or Unreal Tournament, or Starcraft, or Diablo, or etc.)

5) They’re scared of you.

6) They’re scared of themselves.

7) You don’t have odd hours.

8) They’ll try to explain to you how to make your computer run better.

9) Their life is Monty Python, and other classic movies.

10) You end up in their articles they submit to Brass Knuckles Webzine.

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