5 Reasons Why Being Immortal Would Suck


My latest Pajamas Media column is called, 5 Reasons Why Being Immortal Would Suck. Here’s an excerpt from the column.

Remember the final refrain of the classic Queen song, “Who Wants To Live Forever?”

Who wants to live forever?
Who wants to live forever?
Forever is our today
Who has forever anyway…

If you’re like most people, you probably answered that in your head with, “ME! I want to live forever!” It does sound appealing, doesn’t it? The idea that you would never die as long as you kept your head was what really captured people’s imagination about Highlander. The same goes for vampires. The big difference between vampires and other much more boring supernatural creatures like goblins, ghouls, ogres, and pixies is that they can live for thousands of years…. like God. Just imagine what you could do, learn, and become if you had thousands of years to do it! Unfortunately, there may be a few downsides people haven’t considered…

1) Sometimes, death is a mercy.

We get this when it comes to animals. When a pet’s whole life becomes misery, we put it down. Even though we don’t do the same with other humans because of political and cultural reasons, we understand it. But, if you were immortal and healthy, why would you ever WANT to die?

In Greek mythology, the immortal Prometheus was chained on a mountain and each night, a vulture came to rip out his liver and eat it.

In Ninja Scroll, the immortal Lord Himuro Gemma is washed into the sea by a wave of boiling gold, which hardens, traps him, and takes him to the bottom.

In the TV show “Angel,” the main character, who is a vampire, is sealed in a metal box and dropped to the bottom of the ocean.

In the TV show Supernatural, the unkillable Doc Benton is chained in a refrigerator and buried alive.

Imagine being caught in a landslide, being trapped in a plane that goes down over the ocean, or even captured and experimented on by a government trying to learn the secrets of your immortality. There are times when dying beats all the other options.

Once again, you can read it all here.

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