The Top 20 Signs That You Get All Your News From MSNBC
1) The total extent of your knowledge about the world before 1970 is that Hitler was a lot like George W. Bush.
2) You once lectured the plumber clearing a clog in your toilet because you thought he didn’t appreciate all the benefits he had received from “white privilege.”
3) Not only do you have Sandra Fluke’s autograph, you paid for it and it’s hanging in your house.
4) You once took a sign to a protest that said, “Who Needs Oil? I Ride The Bus.”
5) You are “pro-choice” on abortion, but believe religious groups should be forced to pay for your birth control.
6) You think a Republican founded the KKK.
7) You cried yourself to sleep one night last week because you’re so upset at how mean people are to poor Alec Baldwin.
8) You’ve used the words, “That’s Bush’s fault,” in the last month.
9) You’ve laughed at a rape joke about Sarah Palin within an hour of claiming Republicans are waging a “war on women.”
10) You once actually said, “If Chris Matthews says it, you can take it to the bank!”
11) You don’t believe Barack Obama has ever lied to anyone, but if he did, you’re sure he did it for our own good!
12) You don’t understand why Obama still hasn’t prosecuted Bush for being behind 9/11 yet.
13) You’d be in favor of emptying the terrorists out of Guantanamo Bay so you could send Christians and Tea Partiers there instead.
14) You believe Ed Schultz is a moderate voice of reasoned debate.
15) You once called a conservative black man a racist for saying everyone should be treated equally.
16) You refuse to call Washington’s pro-football team “the Redskins,” but refer to Tea Partiers as “Teabaggers.”
17) You supported Obamacare all the way, but were shocked to find out that your insurance wasn’t free when it went into effect.
18) You blame Republicans for all the problems with Obamacare even though it was passed entirely with Democrat votes.
19) You hate the slanted news you get from places like Fox, which is why you prefer to get your news from unbiased commentators like Rachel Maddow and Piers Morgan.
20) You get so angry about those darn hunters! How can they kill animals for food when they could just buy it at the grocery store like everyone else?