How to Have an Environmentally Sanctimonious 4th of July

For Americans, the 4th of July is a time of barbecues and patriotic celebration. But for the New York Times and its remaining readers, it is a time of “atonement” and unwitting self-parody:

Food is responsible for 10 to 30 percent of global greenhouse gas emissions. By many estimates, cooking represents more of a meal’s carbon footprint than transport. For certain vegetables, it accounts for more emissions than agriculture, transport and disposal combined.

Fourth of July, the national celebration of combustion, presents an opportunity for atonement.

Moonbats atone by lessening their carbon footprint. This can be accomplished by not eating potato salad, because it requires energy to boil the potatoes. If you have to grill, use charcoal briquettes because they are recycled from scrap wood. Don’t bake a pie; just warm up some fruit with the dying briquettes when you’re done grilling. The earth will cool as a consequence, and the polar bears will praise your name.

Astonishingly, these delusional clowns are serious.

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Grill an extra burger to help keep the polar bears warm.

On tips from Byron and Incitatus. Cross-posted at Moonbattery.

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