Sarah Palin Drives Aaron Sorkin Out Of His Ever-Loving Mind

Maybe this is a little perverse — but I can’t help but admire Sarah Palin’s ability to drive liberals ABSOLUTELY INSANE just by living her life. Imagine if you will, being Sarah Palin. She goes hunting, like millions of other Americans do — like John Kerry did at least once, when he was running for President back in 2004 — and it drives liberals like Aaron Sorkin completely around the bend. Here’s some of what he wrote at the HuffPo about the episode of Sarah Palin’s Alaska where she shot a caribou and carved it up for meat with her family,

“Unless you’ve never worn leather shoes, sat upon a leather chair or eaten meat, save your condemnation.”

You’re right, Sarah, we’ll all just go f*ck ourselves now.

…I eat meat, chicken and fish, have shoes and furniture made of leather, and PETA is not ever going to put me on the cover of their brochure and for these reasons Palin thinks it’s hypocritical of me to find what she did heart-stoppingly disgusting. I don’t think it is, and here’s why.

Like 95% of the people I know, I don’t have a visceral (look it up) problem eating meat or wearing a belt. But like absolutely everybody I know, I don’t relish the idea of torturing animals. I don’t enjoy the fact that they’re dead and I certainly don’t want to volunteer to be the one to kill them and if I were picked to be the one to kill them in some kind of Lottery-from-Hell, I wouldn’t do a little dance of joy while I was slicing the animal apart.

I’m able to make a distinction between you and me without feeling the least bit hypocritical. I don’t watch snuff films and you make them. You weren’t killing that animal for food or shelter or even fashion, you were killing it for fun. You enjoy killing animals. I can make the distinction between the two of us but I’ve tried and tried and for the life of me, I can’t make a distinction between what you get paid to do and what Michael Vick went to prison for doing. I’m able to make the distinction with no pangs of hypocrisy even though I get happy every time one of you faux-macho shi*heads accidentally shoots another one of you in the face.

…And you didn’t just do it for fun and you didn’t just do it for money. That was the first moose ever murdered for political gain. You knew there’d be a protest from PETA and you knew that would be an opportunity to hate on some people, you witless bully. What a uniter you’d be — bringing the right together with the far right.

(Let me be the first to say that I abused cocaine and was arrested for it in April 2001. I want to be the first to say it so that when Palin’s Army of Arrogant @ssholes, bereft of any reasonable rebuttal, write it all over the internet tomorrow they will at best be the second.)

Did he just write the line, “That was the first moose ever murdered for political gain”? I think he did. Ok, well….lol. Hold on, okay now….hahahahahahahaha!

I also love the arrogance of this, “visceral (look it up).” See, if you don’t agree with Sorkin’s emotion-driven rant, you must be too stupid to know what visceral means. This is funny coming from a guy who was dumb enough to use cocaine. I think anyone who knowingly uses cocaine has forever lost the right to play the, “You’re too stupid to understand what I’m talking about” card.

The complete and utter lack of testosterone here is also pretty notable. Maybe Sorkin doesn’t like Palin because she’s more of a man than he is? Oh wait, that’s unfair. True, but unfair.

Additionally, it’s intriguing to see the “I hate hunters” motif coming back into play. It’s not that liberals don’t feel that way. Many of them do. But, the NRA has pistol whipped them at the ballot box so many times that most of them aren’t willing to admit what they believe anymore.

Also, let me ask: What is the “reasonable rebuttal” to an emotionally overwrought, logic-free rant about a woman Aaron Sorkin doesn’t like choosing to hunt? Hunting is as American as apple pie and if Daniel Boone and Davy Crockett were still around, they could confirm that for him. If Sorkin would rather skip the hunting himself and just enjoy all the meat and leather provided by people who are less squeamish about killing animals, that’s fine, but he should be more grateful. Without people like Sarah Palin around, people like Aaron Sorkin would have had to spend a lifetime eating bean sprouts.

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