The Top Five Superheroes In The New DC Comics’ Occupy Movement Comic Book

Have you heard? There’s an Occupy comic book coming.

If you thought the Occupy movement was a laughing matter … well, you may be onto something. DC Comics – a company whose name is a reminder that its earliest product was meant to bring a smile to its customers’ lips – announced on Friday that it will be releasing two new series. Both focus on the plight of the 99 percent.

Wired reports that the two titles in the Occupy series, which will debut in May, feature super heroes. “The Green Team” carries the motto “Money can buy them happiness – and they want to share it with you.” The motto of “The Movement,” meanwhile, is “They were the super-powered disenfranchised – now they’re the voice of the people.”

The super-powered disenfranchised? Wow, that sounds fun! Just imagine the heroes that DC can come up with!

Pigpen: After 25 years without a bath, he can incapacitate his enemies just by lifting one of his arms.

The Mooch: After spending an entire lifetime living off of other people, he’s developed superhuman mooching powers. No bank can resist him when he asks for money, policemen who try to apprehend him let him “borrow” their guns, and he’s unjailable because no prison guard can avoid giving him his keys.

FemiNazi: Her ceaselessly moaning about the patriarchy and how worthless the male gender causes every male in the room to flee her presence.

Black Bloc: After spending decades playing military-themed video games, Black Bloc has become a warrior against oppression — if by oppression, you mean Starbucks windows, graffiti-free walls, and policemen with their backs turned.

Trust Fund Kid: The leader of the Occupy team has no super powers, but he does have his rich father’s charge card and a knack for quoting Michael Moore.

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