Hahahahaha: Journalists Retell Their Horror Stories from Election Night

Hahahahaha: Journalists Retell Their Horror Stories from Election Night

While most of us gather ’round campfires to tell spooky stories about dead people coming back to life, or ghosts that haunt you from the afterlife, journalists have a rather different idea of what a horror story is.

Instead of zombies, ghosts, ghouls and demons, a liberal journalist’s idea of a scary story involves things much more frightening: Poll numbers, Presidential candidates, Republicans and Donald Trump winning the election.

BOO! Did I scare you?

In a therapy session of sorts, media members recalled their memories of the night of President Trump’s election and it is the greatest thing that you will ever read.

Rebecca Traister, writer at large for New Yorker Magazine, shared her memories.

“I felt so alone, I knew it was done. I was by myself on the floor. I started to cry.

[…]

People were throwing up. People were on the floor crying.

In the cab home, the cabbie had on the news, that’s when I heard his acceptance speech, and I said, ‘Can you turn it off?’ I couldn’t hear his voice. I was like, ‘I can’t listen to his voice for the next four years.'”

Ana Marie Cox, “Crooked Media” podcast host and MTV News’ senior political correspondent’s experience was a bit different.

“A Muslim colleague of mine called his mother. She was worried he was going to be the victim of violence at any moment. A colleague who is gay and married was on the phone with her wife saying, ‘They’re not going to take this damn ring away from me.'”

The U.S. Editor of Buzzfeed News, Shani O. Hilton, recalled how quiet it was on the train following his win.

“You get on the train from Brooklyn. It’s silent. And not in the normal way of people not talking to each other. It felt like an observable silence. I saw at least three people sitting by themselves, just weeping silently”

New York Times reporter Michael Barbaro actually pondered changing jobs that night.

“I went home and woke up my husband, I think it was 4 or 5 in the morning, and asked him what the next steps should be journalistically. Should I move to Washington? Should I change jobs? It was pretty disorienting.”

But Univision news anchor Jorge Ramos’ story was arguably the best, complete with cookies and milk!

“I’ve been to wars, I’ve covered the most difficult situations in Latin America. But I needed to digest and to understand what had happened. I came home very late. I turned on the news. I had comfort food—cookies and chocolate milk—the same thing I used to have as a kid in Mexico City. After that, I realized that I had been preparing all my life for this moment. Once I digested what had happened with Trump and had a plan, which was to resist and report and not be neutral, then I was able to go to bed.”

I need to get a voice recording of someone reading these stories on top of some spooky music. It would be the lullaby of all Trump voters.

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