Have you heard the latest news about Britney Spears? If not, I think this just about sums it up:

Gahhhhhhhhh!!! My eyes!!! Make it stop!!!

Obviously, this is Britney's way of crying for help. So, let me make a few suggestions...

Steps to get your life back together

#1) Stop drinking.

#2) Stop doing drugs.

#3) Stop hanging out with Paris Hilton.

#4) Consistently wear underwear.

#5) Don't ever, ever, ever shave your head again!

#6) Hire an agency to handle your money, so that if you're too much of a mess to ever sing again, you won't end up on the celebrity edition of Big Brother some day.

#7) Endeavor to meet and hang out with some normal people who aren't wanna-be rappers, leeches, starstruck fans, or Hollywood starlets in the making. Do some normal things. Go to church. Have lunch with your new friends at a local diner. Read a few books. Get your life centered again.

#8) Going to a nice long stint in rehab and seeing a psychologist wouldn't hurt either.