The Best Quotes From ‘The Simpsons’ Part 2

“I’m Kent Brockman, on the eleven o’clock news tonight…a certain type of soft drink has been found to be lethal, we won’t tell you which one until after sports and the weather with Sonny Storm.” — Kent Brockman

“Just miles from your doorstep, hundreds of men are given weapons and trained to kill. The government calls it the Army, but a more alarmist name would be… The Killbot Factory.” — Kent Brockman

“Oooh, the Germans are mad at me… I’m so scared! Oooooh, the Germans…Uh oh…The Germans are coming after me… Oh, don’t let the Germans come after me… Oh, the Germans are coming after me… No, they’re so big and strong… Protect me from the Germans!” — Mr. Burns

“Mr. Simpson, you’re smarter than you look, or sound, or our best testing indicates.” — Mr. Burns

“As punishment for your desertion, it’s company policy to give you the plague.” — Mr. Burns

“Social security number? Naught, naught, naught, naught, naught, naught, naught, naught, 2. D@mn Roosevelt. Cause of parents death? Got in my way.” — Mr. Burns

Bill Clinton:: “No, thank you, Lisa. For teaching kids everywhere a valuable lesson: If things don’t go your way, just keep complaining until your dreams come true.”
Marge:: “That’s a pretty lousy lesson.”
Bill Clinton:: “Hey, I’m a pretty lousy president.”

“A rude Frenchman. Why I never.” — Ned Flanders

Guard at Itchy & Scratchy Land:: “There’s no need to murmur, ma’am. Here at Itchy and Scratchy Land, we’re just as concerned with violence as you are. That’s why we’re always careful to show the consequences of deadly mayhem, so that we may educate as well as horrify.”
Marge Simspon:: “When do you show the consequences? On TV, that mouse pulled out that cat’s lungs and played them like a bagpipe, but in the next scene, the cat was breathing comfortably.”
Guard at Itchy & Scratchy Land:: “Just like in real life.”

“This is the greatest case of false advertising I’ve seen since I sued the movie The Never Ending Story.” — Lionel Hutz

“So then I said to the cop, “No, you’re driving under the influence … of being a jerk.” — Lenny

“Hi, I’m Troy McClure. You may remember me from such other nature films as ‘Earwigs, Ew.’ and ‘Man Vs Nature… The Road To Victory’.” — Troy McClure

“Don’t kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he’d eat you and everyone you care about!” — Troy McClure

“Hi. I’m Troy McClure, you might remember me from such driver’s ed films as ‘Alice’s Adventures through the Windshield Glass’ and ‘The Decapitation of Larry Leadfoot.’ — Troy McClure

“Good evening, I’m Leonard Nimoy. The following tale of alien encounters is true. And by true I mean false. It’s all lies. But they’re entertaining lies, so in the end, isn’t that the truth? The answer is ‘no.'” — Leonard Nimoy

Redneck: “Let’s fight.”
Other Redneck:: “Them’s fightin’ words.”

“You need me, Springfield. Your guilty conscience may move you to vote Democratic, but deep down you long for a cold-hearted Republican to lower taxes, brutalize criminals, and rule you like a king. That’s why I did this, to save you from yourselves. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a city to run. ” — Sideshow Bob

“I’ll be back. You can’t keep the Democrats out of the White House forever, and when they get in, I’m back on the streets, with all my criminal buddies.” — Sideshow Bob

“Dear Mr. President, There are too many states nowadays. Please eliminate three. P.S. I am not a crackpot.” — Abe Simpson

“What a day, eh, Milhouse? The sun is out, birds are singing, bees are trying to have sex with them – as is my understanding…” — Bart Simpson

Bart Simpson:: “You know why these clothes are on sale, Mom? Because the kids who wear them get beaten up.”
Marge Simpson:: “Well, anyone who beats you up for wearing a shirt isn’t your friend.”

“If you really want something in life you have to work for it. Now quiet, they’re about to announce the lottery numbers.” — Homer Simpson

“Here are your messages: ‘You have thirty minutes to move your car.’ ‘You have ten minutes to move your car.’ ‘Your car has been impounded.’ ‘Your car has been crushed into a cube.’ ‘You have thirty minutes to move your cube.'” — Homer Simpson

“I don’t have to be careful. I have a gun.” — Homer Simpson

“Don’t let Krusty’s death get you down, boy. People die all the time. Just like that. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow. Well, good night.” — Homer Simpson

“Order, order. Do you kids wanna be like the real UN or do you just wanna squabble and waste time?” — Principal Skinner

“Look at all the wonderful things you have, sir; King Arthur’s Excalibur, the only existing nude photo of Mark Twain, and that rare first draft of the constitution with the word ‘suckers’ in it.” — Waylon Smithers

“You know what I blame this on the breakdown of? Society.” — Moe Szyslak

“I can’t go to juvie, they use guys like me as currency.” — Milhouse Van Houten

“Can’t you people take the law into your own hands? I mean, we can’t be policing the entire city!” — Chief Wiggum

“Me fail English? That’s unpossible.” — Ralph Wiggum

You can read the “Best Quotes From The Simpsons Part 1” by clicking: here.

Related Articles


Healthcare Conference Call With Representatives Shadegg and Rodgers

Today at 4:30PM eastern a blogger conference call was held by Representatives John Shadegg (R, AZ) and Cathy McMorris Rodgers


The Best Quotes From Eric Hoffer’s “The True Believer.”

Back in 1951, Eric Hoffer wrote a brilliant book called The True Believer. From the intro, here’s what it’s designed


The Best Quotes From C.S. Lewis’ “Miracles”

“Miracles” is a meticulously reasoned, shorter than average book of theology by the great C.S. Lewis. Although the book doesn’t


Share this!

Enjoy reading? Share it with your friends!