Fatwa Issued Against Fake Fatwa Issuer’s Fatwas

Youssef Al-Ahmed, a Saudi cleric, issued a fatwa against the supermarket chain Panda for daring to hire women who mingle with male customers and employees alike.

But Grand Mufti Sheik Abdul-Aziz Al Sheik has issued a fatwa against the fatwa issued by Youssef Al-Ahmed because Al-Ahmed is not of sufficient status to issue fatwas.

In reply Al-Ahmed issued a fatwaette against any of his junior clerics from talking about the rescinded fatwa.

Grand Mufti Sheik Abdul-Aziz Al Sheik then issued a fatwa against fatwaettes saying you can’t have smaller fatwas. “A fatwa is a fatwa is a fatwa,” the Mufti said.

Al-Ahmed sent a holy text on his i-Phone to the Grand Mufti asking if he might issue lite-twas, instead?

The Grand Mufti texted back saying that Al-Ahmed could issue lite-twas but only once a month and only against fast food places and not supermarkets.

Al-Ahmed countered with asking permission to issue lite-twas against gas station lunch counters and fast food places.

The Grand Mufti agreed but told him that he couldn’t issue lite-twas against Taco Bell because the Mufti loved their goat meat tacos.

Al-Ahmed agreed and issued his first lite-twa against Burger King because they forgot to add extra pickles the last time he drove his limo through the drive thu.

And God approved.

As-Salamu ‘Alaykum, everybody.

Warner Todd Huston

Warner Todd Huston is a Chicago-based freelance writer, has been writing opinion editorials and social criticism since early 2001 and is featured on many websites such as Andrew Breitbart's BigGovernment.com, BigJournalsim.com and all Breitbart News' other sites, RightWingNews.com, CanadaFreePress.com, and many, many others. Additionally, he has been a frequent guest on talk-radio programs across the country to discuss his opinion editorials and current events as well as appearing on TV networks such as CNN, Fox News, Fox Business Network, and various Chicago-based news programs. He has also written for several history magazines and appears in the book "Americans on Politics, Policy and Pop Culture" which can be purchased on amazon.com. He is also the owner and operator of PubliusForum.com. Feel free to contact him with any comments or questions : EMAIL Warner Todd Huston and follow him on Twitter, on Google Plus , and Facebook.

Leave a Comment

Share this!

Enjoy reading? Share it with your friends!

Send this to a friend