Scientists Discover Oldest Living Ancestor of US Government

Scientists have discovered a precedent for our current federal government — a massive new dinosaur they call Dreadnoughtus schrani:

Measurements of bones from its hind leg and foreleg revealed that the animal was 65 tons, and still growing when it died in the Patagonian hills of Argentina about 77 million years ago.

“To put this in perspective, an African elephant is about five tons, T. rex is eight tons, Diplodocus is 18 tons, and a Boeing 737 is around 50 tons,” said study author and paleontologist Kenneth Lacovara at Drexel University. “And then you have Dreadnoughtus at 65 tons.”

Dreadnoughtus, meaning “fears nothing,” is named after the impervious early 20th century battleships. Although it was a plant-eater, a healthy Dreadnoughtus likely had no real issues with predators due to its intimidating size and muscular, weaponized tail. …

“How do you come up with a body size that is so enormous when you’re a terrestrial animal?” said Luis Chiappe, director of the National History Museum of Los Angeles’s Dinosaur Institute, who was not involved in the study. “You need to have a structural design that allows you to support a body like that, and you have to be potentially adapted to eat 24 hours a day, nonstop, with a minimal amount of sleep.”

Nothing so vast lived on land again until the US Federal Government slipped its constitutional moorings under the disastrous FDR Regime and eventually bloated into a grotesque monstrosity under Obama. Like Dreadnoughtus, the government never stops eating, and due to its size seems impregnable.

But as with Dreadnoughtus, the government’s very size could be its downfall. Evidently this particular dinosaur died when it became bogged down by its own weight in a flooded plain.

The bigger they are, the harder they fall. Just falling over on its side would have killed Dreadnoughtus, because its ribs weren’t strong enough to support 65 tons. Likewise, the federal Leviathan cannot support its own weight, and will perish of it if it is not radically downsized.

dreadnoughtus
Follow the arrow upward for a million miles to reach the federal government.

On a tip from Varla. Cross-posted at Moonbattery.

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