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Your Facebook Friends And Twitter Followers Aren’t Your Real Friends
Written By : John Hawkins

Maybe it’s because this latest generation has grown up on the internet, but I’ve noticed lately that a lot of people do not seem to have an appropriate sense of what should be private and public information on the internet.

People whose relationship status on Facebook goes from “In a relationship” to “It’s complicated” to “single” are a running joke, but in some cases, it’s even worse: there are people who break up with their significant other by changing their Facebook status. Yes, they do exist!

Moreover, I love Twitter, but there are people who treat it like instant messenger. Not that long ago, for example, two people were having a Twitter conversation and one of them was trashing her friend’s significant other up one side and down the other. Yes, I’m leaving out a lot of details so people won’t know whom I’m talking about and, no, I don’t even want to go into it, but I will say this: any friend of mine who talked about someone I was dating or me like that on Twitter would be an “ex-friend” five minutes after I saw it. If you’re going to poor mouth your friends or whom they’re dating, which isn’t the best idea in the first place, you certainly don’t do it in a public forum. Some things, the world just doesn’t need to know.

As bad as those things are, they don’t come close to measuring up to this:

ABC News Reports that Shellie Ross was tweeting about the fog rolling in and her chickens going back to the coop while 911 was called by her middle son @ 5:23 to report that his 2 year old brother was floating in the pool. Ambulance arrives at 5:38 to find child in cardiac arrest. At 6:12 pm Shellie tweeted and asked for prayers for her son. She had been tweeting from 8:37 in the morning, right on thru while her son fell into the pool, and continued to tweet even after his death – which I find ironic because maybe if she wasn’t tweeting, her son might still be alive.

Shellie Ross’s tweets on 12/14 during the hour her son died leading up to her Byrson Ross’s death are as follows:

Please pray like never before, my 2 yr old fell in the pool
6:12 PM Dec 14th from Echofon (she removed this from her Twitter stream on 12/16)

(5:38 Ambulance arrives to find child in cardiac arrest)

(at 5:23, ABC news Reports 911 was called by 11 year old son to report 2 year old son floating in pool)

Fog is rolling in thick scared the birds back in the coop
5:22 PM Dec 14th from Echofon (removed from Twitter Stream on 12/15)

@themorrisbunch yep almost 30 total these are my oldest ones 4 roos the rest girls http://twitpic.com/tjd9e
5:21 PM Dec 14th from Echofon in reply to themorrisbunch
Reply

Now they are all coming out to see what I am doing http://twitpic.com/tjd1d
5:19 PM Dec 14th from Echofon

One of our roosters looking out at me tonight http://twitpic.com/tjcsk
5:18 PM Dec 14th from Echofon

My dogs caught and flipped a tourtoise on it’s back, seems to be fine though http://twitpic.com/tjcoi
5:17 PM Dec 14th from Echofon

Between the hours of 8:37 a.m. and 5:22 p.m (her first and last before son was found drowned in pool) she tweeted 74 times.

If a babysitter had been tweeting all day long while in charge of a 2 year old and he drowned while she was tweeting, I doubt that the parents would say, “It’s okay, the babysitter feels guilty – we’ll let it go.”

After this tragedy, Shellie Ross has spoken and continued to Tweet, calling people @ssholes, hoping they rot in hell…but not once has she said, “I take full responsibility and I wish I could take that day back. I feel horrible and am so, so, sorry.”

But then again, even if she did say that, I guess actions speak louder than words. And her actions leading up to and after her son’s death speak volumes. She was twittering while her child died and she continues to Twitter, telling people to “Go Get Bent” and “F*ck Tards.”

If your child died because you were twittering, wouldn’t that be the LAST place on earth you’d want to return to? If this was such a terrible time and you wanted people to ‘leave you alone’ why wouldn’t you at least make your Twitter stream private?

This is turning into a big story and people are debating the whole thing: Was this mother tweeting instead of watching her child? Is she responsible for her child’s death? Are people being mean to her by speculating? Should people be taking up money for her? Should we even be talking about this so soon after her child has died, etc., etc., etc.

Here’s the thing, I can’t answer all those questions for you. However, what I can tell you is that people should use this tragic situation as a teachable moment. The lesson is this: Your Facebook friends and Twitter followers aren’t your real friends. When you blast information out to them, you’re not telling your close associates what’s going on in your life, you’re telling the whole world including anonymous jerks, bloggers, and people with very different ideas of common decency. To these people, what you’re saying is just more content, more grist for the mill, just one more thing to talk and blog about. If it’s sensitive information, something you wouldn’t want people idly discussing, then perhaps you shouldn’t put it out there in the first place. You’d think that would just be common sense, but apparently not.

PS: Shellie Ross’ Twitter stream is now protected, but if you want to see some of the “She’s a neglectful mother” and “Leave her alone!” Tweets, you can check them out here.

PS #2: If Shellie Ross does have any real friends out there who know her, the best thing she could do for herself right now is to get off of Twitter for a while. Maybe someone could clue her in.

0
  • http://networdblog.blogspot.com/ Christopher_Taylor

    Your internet sweetheart isn’t a real sweetheart, either.

  • http://www.superdickery.com mightysamurai

    I’m not sure what that Twitter log is supposed to prove. From the time stamps it doesn’t seem she was tweeting her friends while her son was dying, just that her son happened to fall in the pool while she was on Twitter. There’s a 50-minute gap between her 5:22 tweet (before her son fell in the pool) and her 6:12 tweet (more than thirty minutes after the ambulance had arrived and presumably left). It’s not like she was chattering away on Twitter as the paramedics were performing CPR on her child.

    Kids are pretty tricky. Take your eyes off them for just a second and they can get into all kinds of trouble. At the most you could accuse her of being slightly distracted.

  • D-Vega

    I can’t for the life of me figure out who gives a crap about random blabbering from some woman, whether you know her or not.

    I believe Twitter is a fad. The dirty secret is that no one really cares. Facebook at least you can post information and pics and movies.

    But twitter? It won’t be around in another year or two.

  • http://networdblog.blogspot.com/ Christopher_Taylor

    Yeah I think twitter is gonna wear out its welcome pretty rapidly, although it still will have some use for some folks.

    Its like video-logging the supposed “wave of the future.” Trendy, techy, not really adding up to much in the end.

  • http://soliver.typepad.com Major_O

    Twitter is really getting on my last nerve. The fact that I’m forced to voice the words “twitter” and “tweet” already makes me angry.

  • http://caraellison.wordpress.com RTG

    I have a few friends who I met over the net. Real friends. But you’re right, John, blasting info out to strangers is wrong.

    So I was thinking about posting a picture of my butt. That’s cool, though, right?

  • http://networdblog.blogspot.com/ Christopher_Taylor

    Only if its tasteful and it fits the story and its not exploitative

  • http://caraellison.wordpress.com RTG

    I did then some jagoff started saying really scary things so I took it down.

  • http://quantum-kitty.blogspot.com/ simulacre

    I like Twitter for the links people put up and for taking the pulse of the punditry -professional and amateur. I think of Twitter as a zeitgeist tracker and it works well in keeping me informed and alerted to good news stories and op eds. As far as using it as a place to meet and get to know people, I think it’s a rather clumsy venue for it…

  • D-Vega

    So where is this picture, if I may ask?

  • mtlebff

    Hey rtg, are you from Pittsburgh?

  • http://caraellison.wordpress.com RTG

    Newp, not from anywhere near Pittsburgh. Why?

  • mtlebff

    rtg, the term “jagoff” is one of our local expressions, rarely heard (we think) much outside Western Pa. Just checkin’, thanks.

  • http://networdblog.blogspot.com/ Christopher_Taylor

    Yeah, big surprise, a pretty girl posts pictures and some net scum creeps her out. You gotta expect that kind of thing to happen though; lots of awful people out there, and the internet brings out the awful hidden away in otherwise decent people.

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