This Week In Quotes: 10/8 – 10/14

He kind of looks like his parents were a tarantula and a deflated basketball. — Ace on Raul Grijalva

David (Brooks), I don’t want to hear you complain about a tough week. You don’t spend nearly as much time as I do in auditoriums full of semi-suicidal Democrats. Really, I’m lucky I haven’t had to talk anybody off a roof ledge. — Gail Collins

The rule of the road is you never attack down, you always attack up. Now I have all these peons attacking me and I have to not respond. And it’s fun to respond. — Ann Coulter

Profanity around my house? No…I’m a parent. I have daughters. I mean, how would I really sound, as a person…walking around my house [saying] ‘B*ch, pick this up,’ you know what I mean?…I don’t cuss. — Eminem

“We live in more of a p*ssy generation now,” Clint Eastwood told Esquire magazine last year. “[E]verybody’s become used to saying, ‘Well, how do we handle it psychologically?’” Eastwood tells truths. America’s elite has a problem. It’s skinny jeans and scarves, it’s Bama bangs and pants with tiny, tiny embroidered lobsters, it’s Michael Cera, it’s guys who compliment a girl’s dress by brand, it’s guys who don’t know who bats fourth for the Yankees. Between the hipsters and the fratstars, American intellectual men under the age of twenty-five have lost track of acting like Men–and these are our future leaders. We have no John Wayne, no Clint Eastwood. And girls? Girls hate it. — Jonah Goldberg

This morning The Jackson Sun reported for the first time what I’ve repeatedly told citizens: I will not vote for Nancy Pelosi for House Speaker. If the DCCC pulling ads is the price of independence and following my conscience, so be it. That’s the kind of congressman I’ll be. — Roy Herron

When you were first elected, it seemed as though the sky was falling in terms of the economy. There was a bailout that you supported, there was stimulus that added to our deficit, but yet it seems as though our unemployment rate still rises. You said it won’t go past 8% and now it’s at 9.5% … So, my question to you is: Why should we still support you going forward with your economic policies and if the economic does not improve over the next years, why should we vote you back in? — Adam Hunter to Barack Obama at a MTV Town Hall

Undercover anti-terrorism officers have told me that they spend much of their time trailing Islamic suspects to strip clubs. And why a reward of 72 virgins in the afterlife can be enough of a motivation to blow oneself up. While they’re waiting to be able to score virgins in the afterlife, they seem content settling for the ones who contort themselves around poles. Dead or alive, the same principle is at play: sex. Yet an element of the Islamic culture is attempting to export head-to-toe bed-sheet wearing around the world. Hooters is their competition. And that, in a nutshell, is why America will win the culture war–and why culture is such an important and strong political influence. Because even those who claim to hate everything America stands for, ultimately can’t resist it. — Rachel Marsden

There’s no such thing as shovel-ready projects. — Barack Obama

I just think my children and your children would be much better off and much more successful getting married and raising a family, and I don’t want them brainwashed into thinking that homosexualtiy is an eqully valid and successful option–it isn’t. — Carl Paladino

I would make the argument that the Republican Party has been catering to a- sort of a fringe element for a long time, trying to build the base and build a base. And now, is this the devil demanding his due? Are we finally now seeing the payback? I mean, William F. Buckley spent a lot of his time trying to marginalize who he considered to be the kooks, and now the kooks have come home to roost. — Kathleen Parker

I think we always have to remember that people can be opponents, but not enemies. And there are enemies in the world. We just need the news media to help us delineate. And I think that’s where the failing is, that the culture of corruption in the media doesn’t allow us to delineate between enemies and opponents. — Jon Stewart

The final line of Megan McCain’s opus was “Don’t let me pick up this torch alone.” A bleat that continues, just as charmlessly, in her latest article. No thanks, honey. Listen, don’t worry about picking up that imaginary and unwanted torch alone. You must have enough trouble lugging around that giant chip on your shoulder. — Lori Ziganto

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