Age of Obama Dictionary Updates
The tragicomic era opening up before us is going to require some new additions to the dictionary, compliments of Daniel Cirucci:
Formerly known as socialists, they will be the engine that drives Obamanomics. They will build new bridges to socialist Europe and the rest of the redistributive world, teach us to accept Canadian-style health care and usher in the new post-capitalist era. Think money laundering, but on a much grander scale.
Since Dear Leader himself is fond of fitness centers, mirrors, beaches, basketball and other diversions, someone will have to do the real work: writing the vast new sea of government regulations, crafting legislation, “vetting” radicals for high-level appointments and reserving a place for House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif., on Air Force One. This will be done by the worker bees, the Obamawonks. Think bureaucrats in Birkenstocks.
These are the campaignaholics who now have nothing to do and no place to go. They will become Obamorganizers — community and political organizers in the neighborhoods, drumming up support for Dear Leader’s policies and programs at the grassroots level. They will work person-to-person and door-to-door. Think the Avon lady without the fresh scents.
This older group of Obamaniacs is composed of reconstructed hippies and yippies from the 1960s who have longed for a rebirth of the Aquarian age. They are industrious, but their brains still remain somewhat scrambled. They will staff the Bureau of Arts and Crafts and also act as new-age cheerleaders for The One. Think love beads and lava lamps.
Formerly known as journalists, these wordsmiths, image-crafters and branders will assist the new Ministry of Information, which will be responsible for enforcing Obamaspeak and Obamathink. At the outset, they will work to dismantle conservative talk radio and redirect our attention to Obamavison so that we can all feel a tingle up our leg. Think Chris Matthews.
This is the glitterati of Obamaville — the King’s Court in the Realm of Barrackus Maximus. While urging us to generously share the little that is left in our pockets after Obanomics, these high-flying zillionaires will continue their orgy of self-indulgence. All the while they will work to create Obamalot, a land of lords, ladies (and those somewhere in-between) united by love and tolerance. They are in secular Obammunion with The One. If only we could be as caring and compassionate as these Obamebrities, we too could attain superstar status. Think Oprah.
Formerly known as RINOs, these Republicans In Name Only will constitute the New Bipartisanship — a vaulted alliance of the real believers, the true believers and the “me too” believers. Also known as The Cautious Ones, these Obamacans seek the same, but just a bit less, thank you. Think Colin Powell.
A couple of other useful terms are obambardment — the relentless barrage of breathless obamunist propaganda from the obamunicators; and obamnambulists — those who sleepwalk through the dismantling of their country, distracted from resistance by the farcical spectacle that is obamania.