Dean: Dem Poll Workers Can’t Tell GOP Voters Apart — Satire By Scott Ott

08 Jun, 2005 by John Hawkins

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Many Republicans probably voted for George Bush dozens, if not hundreds, of times in 2004, according to Democrat party Chairman Howard Dean, “by taking advantage of the fact that Democrat poll workers have difficulty distinguishing individuals from among a crowd of white Christians.”

“Thanks to their pale skin, round eyes and khaki trousers, Republicans just blend in,” said Mr. Dean. “So they vote, get in the back of the line and vote again. And because they’ve never made an honest living in their lives, they could do that all day long.”

The party chief announced that the Democrat National Committee will invest $50 million in developing protocols to help poll workers tell the difference between one Republican and the next.

A spokesman for the DNC later clarified the comments, noting that, “Chairman Dean intended his offensive remarks to be heard only by party loyalists, not the general public.”

This satire was used with the permission of Scrappleface.