Dissent In America? No Way!

Dissent In America? No Way!: Thanks to Tim Blair, Aussie blogger extraordinaire and former RWN interviewee for pointing out this delightful editorial by Aussie Mike Carlton. This may SHOCK you my friends, but it seems there are people in the United States who…I can hardly bring myself to say it…disagree with George Bush! I know, I know, I was STUNNED myself. Let me post a few excerpts from this SUPER SHOCKING, SHOCKFESTIVE, SHOCKORAMA of an editorial along with a few of my own comments…..

“One of quite a few libels being smeared around by the ratbag right at the moment is that anyone who questions George Bush’s headlong rush to war is “anti-American.”

I hear this sort of thing all the time from the left, but I have NEVER, not one single time, heard ANYONE say that questioning George Bush’s agonizingly slow, glacier like, more than year long “rush to war” is “anti-American.” But to be fair, this may simply may be a cultural misunderstanding. Perhaps the “ratbag right” is some Conservative splinter group in Australia that does this sort of thing as compared to “Koala Bear Conservatives” or the “Drop Bear right-wingers.”

“It is the usual mindless conservatism recycled yet again from the Vietnam War years, “all the way with LBJ” tarted up for the new century.”

Yes, I was just saying the other day, “Barry Goldwater, Ron Reagan, and Lyndon Johnson — they’re all Conservative icons!”

“Australian critics of US policy are ingrates who forget that General Douglas MacArthur was our saviour in 1942. We hate America and all its works. We would defy our great protector and trash the ANZUS treaty, leaving Australia defenceless against naked aggression from our north, blah blah.”

I’ve certainly heard the old, “We saved Europe from the Nazis” line more times than I can count, but this is the first time I’ve heard, “MacArthur saved the Aussies in 1942.” I’ll have to remember that one though since we Americans only save people for 2 reasons 1) To steal their oil & 2) because we enjoy rubbing in the fact that we saved them! Now every time I talk to someone from Australia on ICQ, and they go, “Hey, how’s the weather up there mate?”, I can go, “You wouldn’t be asking how the weather was if MacArthur hadn’t saved your Aussie butts back in 1942! How do you like them apples?”

“This tosh conveniently ignores the fact that millions of Americans are also fearful of where Bush and his Texas oil cronies might be leading them. The artfully directed television pictures of the President’s State of the Union message showed senators and representatives leaping to their feet in thunderous applause at about every third paragraph – bizarrely, it looked like nothing so much as a plenary session of the Chinese Communist Party – but in fact there is profound dissent in Washington and throughout the United States.”

What?!?!? Profound dissent in Washington DC of all places? No, it just can’t be…..

“Pretty much at random, I checked the websites of three prominent Democrat senators to get their take on the Bush speech.”

Wait a second, you’re telling me this dissent is coming from Democrats? Well that sounds highly suspect since the Democrats ALWAYS agree with the President on everything. I remember just the other day when Tom Daschle and Hilliary Clinton held a joint press conference just so they could speak in unison and say, “We agree with everything George Bush says…EVERY SINGLE THING! Vote Republican in 2004 — they deserve it!”

“Senator Edward Kennedy (Massachusetts): “President Bush cannot expect the international community to salute America and march with us into war when the Administration has made no convincing case for war. He did not make a persuasive case that the threat is imminent and that war is the only alternative.”

Kennedy must have watched a tape of the speech since he was sound asleep when the camera focused on him during the State of the Union.

“Senator Dianne Feinstein (California): “On Iraq, I fear that a unilateral attack by the United States will bring about the very events that we are trying to prevent. I believe that with arms inspectors on the ground, Iraq is essentially contained, and we should work with our allies to keep the pressure on Saddam Hussein – but we should not launch a unilateral, pre-emptive attack on Iraq at this time.”

Oh no! When a rock-ribbed Conservative like Feinstein from a Republican stronghold like California disagrees with the President, that’s a shocker!

“Senator Robert Byrd (West Virginia, and, at 86, the senior member of the Senate): “What concerns me greatly is that this President appears to place himself above the international mandates of the United Nations. President Bush has made the overthrow of Saddam Hussein a personal crusade, and in his zeal to pursue his goal, he has failed to make the case to the American people and to our allies abroad that the United Nations is dragging its feet, that war is the only option left, and that war cannot wait.”

But Robert Byrd was so hawkish, so belligerent, so ready to fight…oh wait, that was in the Civil war! Ba-dump-bump..wait, you don’t get it? See Byrd is an ex-KKK member and he’s really old so I was implying that he would have fought against the North to keep slavery in the Civil War and…oh forget it.

“I think we can safely assume that none of that trio is anti-American, but as the drums of war grow louder such voices are barely heard, most especially in their homeland. The American media are avid for the missiles to start landing, slavering at the soaring newspaper circulation and TV ratings that war will bring.”

Yes, we all know what kind of warmongers our American media is made up of. Just the other day I saw an editorial in the New York Times suggesting that we build, “a large pyramid made of human skulls in Iraq” and demanding that the Bush administration target Iraqi orphanages with daisy bombs, “just to show ’em we mean business.”

Unfortunately, Carlton then started talking about Aussie politics instead of the war which meant that the fisking had to come to an end. But, if you ever want to know more about Aussie politics, then just message some Aussie on ICQ and say, “Hey, could tell me what’s happening on the Aussie political scene nowadays? When they say, “Sure..to begin with the “jackaroo” party is pulling boomerangy, diddly do, on the bloomin…,” cut them off in mid-sentence and say, “You wouldn’t be having any elections if MacArthur hadn’t saved you guys back in 1942!” That’ll teach ’em!

😉 Just kiddin’ all you Aussies out there! Australia is right up there with Britain and Israel as far as I’m concerned. I knew you guys would be with us even back when we were hitting Afghanistan. This piece of satire called, “The War On Terrorism: Where Do Nations Stand proves it.

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