Enivonazis Continue to Campaign Against Toilet Paper
The tenderness of the delicate American buttock is causing more environmental devastation than the country’s love of gas-guzzling cars, fast food or McMansions, according to green campaigners. At fault, they say, is the US public’s insistence on extra-soft, quilted and multi-ply products when they use the bathroom.
Here I was thinking that once we succumbed to socialism, Euroweenies would stop their envious sniping, with all the world united in love for our ethnically correct Community Organizer in Chief.
Chides environazi Allen Hershkowitz of the Natural Resources Defence Council:
I really do think it is overwhelmingly an American phenomenom. People just don’t understand that softness equals ecological destruction.
Enlightened Europeans, on the other hand, mop up their messy derrières with recycled sandpaper, thus contributing to the planet’s salvation.
As moonbattery merges with Islam, this obsession with making us feel guilty about wiping our behinds will take the next logical step. The reason Religion-of-Peaceniks will only touch a Koran with their right hand is that the left is traditionally reserved for… other purposes. Charmin is in short supply out on the sands of Arabia.