Give The Gift Of Evil Clowns This Valentines Day.

by John Hawkins | February 13, 2009 2:21 pm

If you’re — say, a union thug, forge voter registrations for ACORN, or are some sort of environmental wacko — you know, the sort of people who are benefitting from the violation of America that is this stimulus bill, you may want to drop a few extra bucks on this rather unique eBay auction,

EXPERIENCE YOUR FEAR OF CLOWNS@!!!!

Afraid of Clowns? Ever see a movie with a creepy clown and get scared to death? Believe it or not, there are people out there who like to be scared. This idea came to me when a friend mentioned they love scary movies and the thrill it gives them. This auction is for a 3 day thrill ride through your greatest fear! ~CLOWNS~!!!! I will dress up as a clown and scare you for 3 days STRAIGHT, everywhere you go, I will follow, dressed as a clown. When you least expect it – BOOM!!! There I’ll be to creeper you out! This is something you will only want to experience once. LIVE your SCARIEST MOVIE SCENES! Included in this auction, is my travel expenses to wherever you live to give you 3 days of creepy, clowny excitement! BID NOW AND EXPERIENCE this once in a lifetime Thrill…. Are you Brave Enough? * This is meant for entertainment purposes only, no harm will come to you from this, just scariest thrill of a lifetime! Live a haunted house come to life for 3 entire days.

Maybe it’s because I have a sick sense of humor, but I couldn’t help thinking how utterly hilarious it would be to hire this clown to follow someone around without telling him about it.

Can you imagine it?

You show up at work Monday morning and there is a CREEPY looking clown across the street. Blech.

At noon, you walk out of work for lunch and get ready to head a few blocks down the street to a Mexican restaurant. Weird. That clown is STILL there — and, wait a second. He’s following you down the street.

You walk out of the restaurant and the clown is just sitting there, staring at you. You almost say something, but you don’t want to be late for work. Holy crap! The clown is following you back to work.

It’s break time. You walk over to the window and the CLOWN IS STILL OUTSIDE!

You rush out to your car at the end of day and head home. 5 minutes later you take the dog outside. Shoot. He got off the leash….where did he go? Oh my sweet…the clown is standing across the street from your house. He’s petting your dog. The dog runs back over to you and you hustle him inside. You open the curtains and look out. The clown sees you. He tilts his head in the strangest way and his mouth breaks out into the creepiest smile you’ve ever seen.

And there still would be 2 1/2 more days to go!

Currently, the bidding is only at $320.00 — and that apparently includes travel and hotel expenses. Who says there are jobs Americans won’t do?

Hat tip to The American Princess[1] for the story.