How Will Future Generations Define the Word “Obama”?

I saw a tee shirt design a few weeks ago that had a picture of an outhouse on it. The caption was “Be back in five, I have to go take an Obama.” This, to my thinking, is disrespectful and unacceptable. But it does raise an interesting point about that name. It is so unique, that in a few years it is bound to possess an abundance of meanings it does not have now.

So seriously — what will it mean throughout the years?

I decided to scribble down some ideas. Ideas, upon which, I would presumably be willing to bet some real money. The timeframe of each usage, as is the case with all slang words, will have a morphing effect on it. Over and over and over again, I’m thinking.

So here are my ideas. Obama (n.)…means…

2009. The name of the One True Savior who will rescue us from our economic malaise. He’d better, anyway. Or oh boy, are we ever screwed!
2010. Some guy who keeps apologizing for America’s historical misdeeds, even when they are grossly off-topic.
2012. Synonym for “Carter.”
2016. Anyone in possession of a sales ability that is so remarkable and overpowering, they easily can sell pure crap to the most skeptical buyer.
2024. A product that is so incredibly substandard and pure in its crappiness, that only an “Obama” can sell it.
A generation from now: A social phenomenon in which people get so wrapped up in the “charisma” or whatever of a movement’s leader, that they forget all about policies.
Two generations from now: Extreme danger that rises up to confront a nation or culture as a direct result of electing such a charismatic leader.
Three generations from now: Journalists’ term: The childlike euphoria which captures the media’s attention as such a charismatic leader becomes more widely known.
A century from now: Financial professionals’ term: A nosedive on the stock market caused by the reckless and ignorant remarks of a nation’s leaders.
In the next cultural eon:
 • Pilots’ term for the panic that results from aircraft flying low over crowded metropolitan areas.
 • The apology issued by a nation or its leaders in order to get foreign countries to like it better, or to stop hating it.
 • The extreme futility associated with such an apology.
 • The point in time when an advanced civilization “jumps the shark” and begins an irreversible descent of perpetual apology-for-self.
 • Any effort which is presented as creative, which is, in reality, a process of destruction.

As a verb:
 • To select a candidate with dark skin, as a representative of some historically ineffectual, damaging or undefined policy ideas. The strategy is that if & when anyone points out the inherent weaknesses of what is about to be done, you just call ’em a racist and be done with it. Everyone knows this is a stupid idea. They’ll never go for it unless we Obama it. It’s the only way.
 • To bullsh*t people with careful delivery, cheerful tone and a calm, steady demeanor. You’ve got the most gullible professor on the entire campus. If you’re late with your work just Obama your way through, he’ll fall for it every time. Or… My grandson swears he doesn’t know anything about the money missing from my purse, but I could swear that little bast*rd is Obama-ing me.

Cross-posted at House of Eratosthenes.

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