Humorless Liberal Radio Network Debuts By William Grim
New York – “Radio Pinko,” the New York flagship station of the Humorless Liberal Radio Network (HLRN) signed on the air today for the first time. The leftist network, the brainchild of Al Franken who is hot off his stunning success as a movie actor in the Stuart Smalley direct-to-video franchise, is an attempt to counter the influence of conservative talk show hosts Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity and others.
The network will feature leftist agitprop and disinformation, Hootie and the Blowfish songs, Ben & Jerry’s commercials and lame attempts at humor in the style of the sketches Franken used to write for Saturday Night Live that always seemed to go on for ten minutes too long.
“It’s going to be an exciting time for humorless liberals,” said Franken to an early morning press conference. “We’re gonna rock you off your Birkenstocks.”
Although subject to change, the following programs are slated for the HLRN’s weekday lineup:
6-10am – Grumpy with Garofalo: Gen-X unfunny girl Janeane Garofalo whines and complains about George Bush and former boyfriend Ben Stiller during morning drive time
10-11am – Local Leftist Programming
11-12 noon – Secular Humanism Hour with the Right Reverend Rowan Williams: The Archbishop of Canterbury awakens your inner spiritual child by apologizing for Muslim terrorists and denying the major tenets of Christianity. Sponsored by the Bin Laden Construction Company
Noon-3pm – Al Franken Is a Big Fat No-Talent: Going against the Rush Limbaugh juggernaut, every day for three hours Al Franken will show you why Bill Murray was the last funny person to appear on Saturday Night Live
3-4pm – Simulcast of Radio Havana’s News Hour
4-7pm – Hanoi Jane’s Funhouse: Evening drive time gets a little pinker with America’s best looking traitor
7-10pm – Rantin’ and Ravin’ with Howard Dean: Socialism’s answer to Morton Downey, Jr. lights up the evening airwaves
10-Midnight – Minority Remix with Jesse Jackson: Features an eclectic mix of Marcus Garvey, Marvin Gaye and Malcolm X
Midnight-6am – Clinton After Dark: Go bar (and bed) hopping with the former President of the United States as he trolls for chicks with former members of his administration.
If you enjoyed this satire by William Grim, you can read more of his work at Broken Newz.