In My World: Redistribution — Satire By Frank J.

Joe the Plumber was busy working under a kitchen sink, which is why he didn’t hear someone come up behind him. He was slammed in the back with a pipe wrench, leaving him crying in pain as he looked up at his attacker: Barack Obama.

“You made one mistake, Joe,” Obama said. “You made too much money.”

“I’m just trying to expand my business.” Joe lay on the floor, clutching his back. “I was just hoping to-”

Obama kicked him. “I don’t care! It’s my money now! Give it to me!”

Joe pulled out his wallet and Obama greedily snatched it away and looked through it. He then kicked Joe again. “There’s not enough in there!”

“What’s going on?” The owner of the house stood at the kitchen’s door, looking shocked at the scene in front of her.

“This doesn’t concern you!” Obama shouted at her.

“Should I call the police?” she asked.

Obama ripped the kitchen phone out of the wall. “You’re not calling anyone, b*tch! Now what were you going to pay him?”

“Hey, leave her alone!” Joe pleaded. “This is about me!”

“Shut the @#$% up!” Obama shouted back. He then waved his pipe wrench at the woman. “Write the check out to me! Do it! Do it now!”

The woman broke down crying as she pulled out her checkbook.

Obama walked back over to Joe. “This is why I have nothing but disdain for women.”

“What do you want?” Joe asked desperately.

“I just want to help everybody, Joe.” Obama knelt down and smiled. “Just trying to spread the wealth around. But @#$% like you got to make this difficult. Here’s what you’re going to do. You’re going to take your cell phone, call your banks, and wire $40,000 to me. If you don’t, I’m going to raise your taxes even more by making you lose your Child Tax Credit. And know how I’m going to do that? BY @#$% KILLING YOUR FAMILY!!!!”

The screen turned off and Obama turned to the press. “And that was the dramatization of my new tax plan. Any questions?”

“Why are you so awesome?” a reporter squealed with glee.

“It’s hard.” Obama bowed his head sadly. “Especially when FOX News allows critical things about me to be said.”

“Awww, poor Obama,” the press said. “Everyone is against him.”

“Let’s only write positive things about him and negative things about McCain!” one reporter said.

Another reporter looked confused. “Um… I thought we were already doing that.”

This satire was used with the permission of IMAO.

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