Operation Save Teh Kittehs Part 4: The Cutening

02 Jul, 2009 by John Hawkins

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All the feral kittehs I have captured are now ready to be adopted out to a new home. So, if you live in between Myrtle Beach, SC and Wilmington, NC — and you want a kitten, now is the time to get in touch with me. I may also be able to get a kitteh to you if you live in DC. I keep planning to go up there for a few days to hang out with friends and in mid-August, I am going to Pittsburgh. So, if you live there, you can also have a Kitteh. Of course, if you have the money to have the Kitteh shipped across country, you can have a kitteh whereever you may be.

Now, you may say, “John, why would I want one of these kittehs?” You read Right Wing News, right? How cool would it be to be listening to a radio show or watching Fox and then I come on and you go, “See that guy — oh yeah, he is kind of a jerk. But, I did get this kitten from him and…oooh, wow, he completely ruined your shoes, didn’t he? That’s what I get for naming him Barack, I guess.”

That’s right, folks — these kittens have no names! That means you will have the honor of naming them. Could it be little Michael Jackson, Jr.? Nancy P.? Barney Frankenkitty?

Look, let’s cut to the chase: I need to get rid of these kittens and you need to have one of them. Maybe you’re a crazy cat lady. Maybe you’re a liberal who hates the idea of kittens being raised by conservatives. Maybe you just want to prove that Barack Obama is wrong, Barack Obama is right, that the terrorists haven’t won — choose any option you like — but getting one (or more) of these kittens will do that!

Plus, they are really cute. Check out the video — and prove you’re a good person by taking a kitten!